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DON'T touch the art

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 10/19/2020 - 10:07pm

FFS. DH cannot say NO. We know this but OMG tonight I had to step in.

I'm in the bedroom escaping YSDs chatter when DH tells her to 'don't touch the art please.' YSD will pick things apart and mess with them so I watch what she's getting into. Yes, she's almost 15.

I know she's sitting in front of the fabric piece my grandmother collected in the '60s. She ignores him and he asks again. Then ensues the back and forth of why not/because (half hearted reason and mention of the Louvre and that you cannot touch art in a museum)/it's not a museum blah blah. THEN he says, "well....I was just kidding." What the everloving EFF! 

I come out and say actually a lot of my art I have collected IS museum quality and expensive. Explain how hands can damage art just by touching it. And yes, keep your hands OFF.

Cue the sulk.

I leave the room.

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 3:11am

Like you, I have a lot of original artworks in the house - collected over some 35 years -  mainly paintings and a collage that are hanging on the wall - none of them particularly valuable, but precious to me, and all with their bit of history about where I got them etc.  I would be livid if one of the SDs started manhandling them and would have no hesitation in telling them off.  How would she like it if you started messing with her private belongings?   Your DH sounds like a right "big girl's blouse" to use a UK expression. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 5:08am

And your lame ass DuH.  I would have been tempted to march out there and slap her grubby hands!

Umm the word NO with no further explanation should have been taught in toddlerhood along with keep your hands to yourself. 

Chef used to do this endless back and forth with his ferals.  Drove me insane listening to it.  That Dr. Spock did the western world a disservice telling parents they had to reeeeeaaaasssssooooon with their children on eeevvvveeeerrrrrryyyyyyyyything.

No you DON'T. In fact over "reasoning" with children instills a lack of respect for adults as everything becomes a bargaining chip.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 11:52am

I know, exactly my issue with his "parenting" style - and he knows I hate it.  Have told him many times that I don't understand why he cannot be straight up with the SDs - say it like you mean it.  HE'S frustrated with YSD not listening to him or dismissing him at times and I tell him that it's because she doesn't respect you, you are a pushover with endless 'talks' and no definitive direction!

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 7:43am

Go in her room and pick up all of her stuff, especially the most personal and cherished, and see how she likes it. She shouldn't touch it because it's NOT HERS, and for no other reason.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 11:49am

If she hadn't stopped I would have absolutely done this.  it was my next step.

It's like her leaving her face prints on the windows EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. SHE. IS. HERE. DH never cleans it, YSD never cleans it so I've stopped and it's added to the housecleaner's tasks and to DH's portion of the bill.

I left a handprint on HER window this week, right where she looks out from her desk.

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 12:37pm

Wait why is she rubbing her face all over the windows? Is she on the spectrum of something...rubbing her face on glass, needing to touch/fiddle with items...at 14/15 that doesn't seem normal to me.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 1:44pm

CORRECT!

All the SMs on here who are familiar with mild autism know that it commonly shows up later in girls.  YSD hits most of the marks on autism checklists for girls. I spoke with DH about it - he dismissed it. He did mention it to his counselor. That's it.  I'm out. 

I cannot do anything about it because here I am, I just can counteract what effects me directly.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 10/20/2020 - 1:19pm

Munchkin SD14 is a bit touchy, but shes got really good boundaries. Plus shes very careful with things. I would get really pissed if someone was messing witih my museum-quality items.

I too get mad at DH when he tries to "explain" why no or why not. Im like"no means no, because I said so". And then I get the huffy teen stalk off. Im starting to care less and less, because no is a complete sentence.