SS13 and his addiction
Yesterday morning after SS13 got up to get ready for school, I grab his phone to change an alarm as he needed more time to get ready. Swipe his screen and the first thing that shows up is the website where he was watching a porn video.
Took his phone away, had words with him and sent him off to school. Later that morning after I finished work, I went through his internet history. My gawd! Just in the yesterday tab alone, he had watched more than 30 porn videos. In the last 7 days, he watched more than I could even count. In the last 30 days, the list was just ridiculous. One of the vidoes was titled "stepmother".
THAT is when I absolute saw red. SS13 came home to a very very angry Cookies. I read off all of the names of the videos he watched the day before. He just stood in front of me saying nothing. I said "Oh that's cute, a stepmother one. That is disgusting and I feel violated around you. You've been doing nothing but watching porn non-stop. I know what teen boys do while watching this stuff and I'd bet the house you never once washed your hands. Then you come up to your Dad and I touching us and give us hugs. You're making me feel ill right now!"
So not only is he addicted to video games and any screen in general, he is addicted to porn. Needless to say all screens have been taken away and won't be given back until the next sighting of Haley's comet. DH and I actually had to explain to SS that there is more to life than screens and he WILL learn how to live without them.Of course it's the first day so he's still addicted. He tried to come up with all these excuses as to why he needs screens. Nope. You're not growing up as an addict. Time to detox, little one.
Another day in the life of step land...
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We didn't go "full mental"
We didn't go "full mental" but we weren't happy. We do check his internet but I had been checking on his carrier's online account. Of course the use wouldn't show up as he's on wifi so it doesn't use any data. We sure do know better now!
We did have a talk to him about porn and what the women go through and that it's not realistic, not love and not what love with your partner really looks like. He was a bit grossed out but we wanted to take the allure and fantasy away from it.
Trust me he will no longer have a smart phone. When he ever gets a phone again, it will be a phone that only has 10 keys on it and can only text and make calls. Lesson learned!
Ewwww Sally hush that is
Ewwww Sally hush that is gross, woman! Lol you love to torture me.
Honestly I would've laughed too if it was a few ripped out pages from a nude magazine or one or two sites like your monster had done. Sal, this was every day alllllll day and half the night. It was disgusting. A little curiosity is one thing and totally normal but this...this is addiction.
DH was grossed out by it, too. I mean we're no prudes...but we are also adults. A 13 year old boy does NOT need to know what double ended dildos are. We calmly explained the uhhh challenges these women go through. What they have to do for their work and the diseases and pain they experience. It's not realistic and it's NOT normal or what love looks like. All explained at his age level.
I cannot believe I have to explain to a child how to live without screens and porn. :sick: My brain needs bleaching.
Oh we're still struggling
Oh we're still struggling with the poo issue too. That's my SS. He got worse because the only thing he wanted to do was be on screens. Really, who needs to eat, drink, eliminate or keep themselves clean, right? Total normal...a porn addicted starving filthy teen with poopy pants. SS is going places. Not college...but places.
Thank heavens the bathroom door has no keyhole and a sliding lock on the inside. You're hilarious but not nice lol.
LOL wouldn't expect anything
LOL wouldn't expect anything less from you
He isn't being my shadow! He
He isn't being my shadow! He needs to learn how to entertain himself without having video games or porn. We told him there's these awesome things in your room called toys and books. An even greater thing is your imagination! Not our job to entertain you 24/7and plenty of children in the world can do this and you will too.
He can stay away from me and definitely don't touch me! Gross.
Boys will do that anyway but
Boys will do that anyway but he has to keep his door open at all times. I can't help what he remembers, unfortunately, I can only stop him from watching those sort of things on my dime.
Sometimes I do feel like I'm losing my mind. To be fair, my own BS15 has a host of issues of his own too. Difference is that he is parented from the start and isn't allowed to escalate to ridiculous status. SS13 is left to his own devices and only then does DH start parenting him after it reaches level critical. THAT is what makes me crazy.
^this
^this
My BM went through this with
My BM went through this with my 14 year old half brother.
Sorry to tell you but it didnt/hasnt ended well.
It started off with general curiosity that rapidly became an "addiction" as far as my BM was concerned. My step father is dead so its just my BM and half brother in that house, they live in another country so no where near other family. My BM found out like you did, and realised he had been spending HOURS looking at this sort of stuff. It seemed to have a cycle, browsing youtube for gaming videos (those walk-throughs) that linked to things like "10 funniest/sexist gaming moments" and then boom, sexy links to sex, sex is highway to porn.
So BM took away his laptop and tablet (but forgot his phone) so the wifi started being turned off (and was massively locked down), he was grounded for a while but she just found he was involving his mates and using their devices (be it phones, tablets, whatever)
Then our grandmother died, we all traveled to my grandfathers, BM gave him his tablet for his games because they were staying a few days with grandfather and also a few days with a friend of BM. When they got home BM found he had been looking at porn using grandfathers and her friends wifi. She lost it with him but nothing she said or did seemed to make any difference.
At one point she was taking him to and from school and asking the school to keep him in detention during breaks and have more conversations at home and school about the dangers of porn, not being real etc etc but school felt it was an over reaction.
Where did this all lead?
He and his friends started getting bored of the porn and started sending photos of themselves to each other. Their point of view is, so long as we arent physically having sex it doesnt count. In the eyes of the law? Its making and distributing child pornography.
Now the police have been involved, his laptop and tablet taken by the police, theres a child psychologist, behaviouralists etc etc all suggesting things that BM has done or is doing.
So basically try as you might but unless you pull him from school, homeschool or go join an Amish community you wont actually be able to stop him accessing it if he wants to.
Exactly. When he gets a
Exactly. When he gets a phone, which will not be for a long time, it will be a basic track phone that can only text and call. He doesn't go anywhere, he doesn't have many friends. The very few (two) that he does have likes to play video games. Since he's grounded until the end of time, this won't be an issue for awhile either.
He doesn't ride a bike, walk anywhere or have the common sense (and money) it takes to ride public transportation so we have COMPLETE control over his access to the internet. He will NOT be on the internet, ever, alone. The only time he's allowed on the internet is when he wants to video call his BM. That is on DH's laptop in the dining room for all to see and hear.
Any sneak peaks he may or may not get off of his mates phones at school is normal curiosity. He won't be able to look at it for endless hours. A few photos and giggles with your buddies is normal, endless hours of watching is not.
The problem is solved as far as I can see. It will only take a few weeks for him to get used to finding entertainment outside of a box that needs to be plugged in. Once he finds other sources of entertainment, this should level out.
I did warn DH of letting his son having unlimited internet access and what could happen 2 years ago. But what do I know, I'm only the SM
"hate sm?" but he lurves her
"hate sm?" but he lurves her i thought, thinks warm thoughts about her....
}:)
LOL so funny yet so wrong
LOL so funny yet so wrong
No, he no longer has a smart
No, he no longer has a smart phone, nor does he have his own tablet, xbox live or his own laptop. There is still a laptop in the house with internet access (BMs) for homework and homework only. BM literally sits with him whenever he uses it, so naturally he isnt able to access it via her house.
BUT and the big but is, at school his friends are still using their devices to access and share.
That is the bit my BM finds more disturbing, this isnt an individual activity, these are essentially mini groups watching this stuff. Calm me prude but to me porn is a personal thing for one person or a couple, its not like going to the movies with a bunch of mates.
Despite knowing all this, the school refuses to support my BM in either not allowing my half brother out of the classroom during break times, or in putting a ban on mobiles/devices and confiscating them. So whilst she is able to manage what is happening INSIDE her home, she doesnt have the same ability outside of it. This is with her being active in terms of trying to gain the help/support, with school, police, social workers, etc.
I'm not totally hung up on it
I'm not totally hung up on it but it did give me the creeps when I first read through the exhaustive list of videos he had watched. It was only one so I don't think he watched it on purpose. It was a good point to drive home, though.
One thing for sure - he likes women. Sexual orientation confirmed lol
oh coookies i'm sorry.
oh coookies i'm sorry. waaaayyyy beyond boys curiosity.
i loathe to think about this. dh can deal if there's ever any issues. they get unlimited access and no supervision over what they're looking at.
i'll take that brain bleach when u're done with it....
Thanks tuff. Your DH better
Thanks tuff. Your DH better be careful...especially when they start going through puberty! SS13's video watching was innocent until the hormones started kicking in!
*Passes the brain bleach*
they are 17stb18, 15stb16,
they are 17stb18, 15stb16, and 12.
i need to stop after work for some lysol wipes for the knobs, handles and remotes.
:sick:
the only reason i have desperately WANTED puberty to hit kaos is so his voice will freaking change. see that, "wanted" - past tense. ur ss has me gagging now!!!
thanks for the bleach. i'm gonna hafta go look at fuzzy furbaby videos or something now. nope, i cant handle videos, even just the thought of any video. thanks again to your ss.
ok i'm going to delve into a stupid report until my mind clears and my eyes cross.
Ahahahaahahahahaha sorry
Ahahahaahahahahaha sorry tuff!
LMAO!!! I leave the house
LMAO!!! I leave the house for an hour and come back to this lol
Bawhahahahahaha......Stiflers
Bawhahahahahaha......Stiflers mom.......awesome
tommar don't you dare ruin my
tommar don't you dare ruin my love of cookies. Evil women, all of you
cookies, apple pie, whatever
cookies, apple pie, whatever floats his boat, right?
Clever, I have had to talk my
Clever, I have had to talk my SS7 about appropriate fiddling and the places it should be. He was doing it in front of my daughter. Should I have left him fapping off while sitting in the lounge next to my kid? My H was at the shops.
Some things do not get left until later. Finished.
I read off the more than 30
I read off the more than 30 titles of porn videos that he watched in ONE DAY! If he felt ashamed hearing titles such as "Big T*tted Lesbians" and "Lesbians with double ended dild*" and "H*rny sl*ts c*mming" then perhaps he needs to make better choices on what he does with his time.
I then talked to him about inappropriate internet use, not watching porn because of the disgusting way women are treating and what they go through making those videos, what real love is and the fact that he should not be losing sleep, not eating, not drinking and not using the toilet as a teenager should all in the name of watching endless hours of filth.
That isn't shame - that is teaching a child right from wrong. Give me a break.
Just to put it in
Just to put it in perspective; in the "old days" a young man might have a stash of a dozen or more porno mags under their bed. That is thousands of images of a variety of women doing...well, a variety of things. Now boys have all of these images and videos right at their fingertips and PARENTS are the ones paying for their access to it. Things haven't changed much except the availability and level of accessibility.
DH still laments how his mother found and threw out his massive porn stash when he was a teen.
And there's nothing wrong with lesbians that are well endowed...IMHO
I agree, having magazines
I agree, having magazines and being curious and doing what boys do is normal. When it starts taking over your life and you cease to be a basic functional human being...that's when it becomes a problem.
I have nothing against lesbians or boobs either but I think he's taken it a leeeeeeeetle too far.
Exactly. Seeing a one
Exactly. Seeing a one dimensional photo of the naked female body is a lot different to seeing the near complete anatomy of the inner vagina. Plus these videos show acts of which a 13 year old boy does not need to see.
If they didn't have their own
If they didn't have their own stash they could get into dad's or their friends. Where there's a will(y) there's a way.
Anyone that isn't toilet
Anyone that isn't toilet trained isn't mature enough to have a phone period. I no longer need coffee this morning.
More than fair. Whiskey is
More than fair. Whiskey is the only way to erase a vision of a teen sitting in his poo while sprain ing his wrist is too da*n much.
I couldn't agree with you
I couldn't agree with you more robin
He is having another
He is having another evaluation in March. They said he has selective language impairment. He does but everyone swears he's on the autistic spectrum as well. Having said that though, he had been toileting fine for several years. It didn't come back until DH allowed him to play video games every waking moment.
I never it existed until the
I never it existed until the doctors told DH what SS had. It's like he knows what he wants to say in his mind but can't organize those thoughts into words and say it. And I believe that - he has a real hard time talking sometimes. I don't doubt that he has that but he has more for sure.
Whatever he has, he is definitely more than capable of being fully toilet trained.
And this is why I won't give
And this is why I won't give in and give my 16 yr old son an iphone. All he gets to do is call and text on his cheapo old phone. Boys will watch porn if given the opportunity, it's curiosity, and completely normal. My son borrowed my phone to "listen to music" in the bathroom and whoopsie....forgot to close out his porn pages. He got the finger waggle from me and the condom talk from DH and I. All of our computers are password protected so the boys can't just hop on anytime and do whatever they want.
I would be very careful about using the word addiction and overly shaming the behavior. This will only push it down further and make him more secretive about viewing it. Hopefully your DH will use this as an opportunity to openly talk with him about hormones, attraction, and being responsible and respectful to the opposite sex.
Sitting in pooh while wacking
Sitting in pooh while wacking off. :? He's going to have to pay a hooker who is really bad off on drugs to fulfill his sexual fantasies IRL.
Just wanted to point out that
Just wanted to point out that you were at "69" comments. I think I just ruined that though.
So mature
So mature
I live with teen boys and a
I live with teen boys and a husband who mostly acts like a teen. Immaturity is part of the territory.
One husband and two teen boys
One husband and two teen boys here. Immaturity is necessary
I can't decide who is more
I can't decide who is more immature today. My H or PPP gahhhhhh, they are like fighting besties in preschool!
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
He can't even be bothered to
He can't even be bothered to wipe his own butt, let alone wash his hands. Have you not read this entire post or are you just focusing on those few sentences out of this entire thread?
It was made VERY clear that being curious about sex is natural, wanting to see women is natural, doing the things that boys and men do alone is natural. However watching porn so much that you'd be happy SITTING IN YOUR OWN FECES, locked up in your room, stinking, dehydrated and starving is NOT natural!
And I DID feel violated... he was watching stepmother porn. If I came on here saying I watched stepson porn, I would get roasted...and rightfully so! It's disgusting and I won't sugar coat it to save little snowflake's feelings as he sure wasn't thinking about anyone else's but his own.
If you're just here to try and portray me as some monster, go find something else to do.
I had SO many albums of
I had SO many albums of stickers! The excitement of going to the store and getting a new sheet of stickers!!
Reminds me of the time when
Reminds me of the time when we went through SS14's (13 at the time) text messages, only to read about him and his buddies competition in the showers about "play time." We moved into this house 9 months ago, and I was able to use the jacuzzi tub twice before SS was here because it's in the main bathroom and where he showers. He also takes extremely long showers and after reading what I did, I cannot un-see it, and I cannot ever use that tub again. No amount of cleaner can change my mind.