Aaaaaarrgggg!!
OMG, am I the only one who thinks 5 1/2 is too old to be crying for no damn good reason? We got to MIL's house where DH's daughter is staying for a little bit. DH's niece told his daughter to give our son (3) a toy that I didn't think he should be playing with, so before she even touched it, I said "no, don't give that to him". I'm disengaged unless it involves/affects our son.
She (the daughter) proceeds to pick it up to give it to him. MIL said "no, his mommy just said he shouldn't play with that". Again, ignored. So DH pipes up and says "No, we don't want him playing with that." and the child bursts into tears like someone just beat her ass. I'm standing there thinking "WTF is this shit."
The best part is that for the next half an hour he's trying to get her to stop crying with "stop the crying", "what's wrong", "listen to daddy" and other similar gems. Funny thing is, it would never have gone that far if it was our son. If he started to pout over some silly crap like that, it would have been shut down in 2 seconds - neither of us put up with that from him.
She stops crying for a minute, then she starts crying again. Why you ask? Because she didn't get to ride in the car. Are you kidding me? That doesn't even make sense. YOU WERE ALREADY HERE! Ride in the car from where? To where? Goodness, I wanted to tear out my hair. Maybe it's the hormones, but damn that was annoying as hell.
Had to get that out.
- ConfusedStep's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
LOL. It'll never happen.
LOL. It'll never happen. We're not spankers, but even if we were he would never spank her. He doesn't want her to be "uncomfortable", you know. *eye roll*
The most he will do is talk to her. He has never punished her for anything. Not my problem. As long as our son is being raised right, I'm good. Today's display was just... Wow. But whatever.
Funny thing is that he
Funny thing is that he handles it when it's our 3 year old. As soon as he starts to pout we remind him that what mommy/daddy says goes and he stops right away and he's back to playing.
If for some reason, he starts to cry then it's straight into the corner, then we have a little chat about his behaviour. For some reason, not his daughter. With her, he turns into an idiot.
The one time I talked to him
The one time I talked to him about it is when our son was very young. We had always talked about how we will raise our children and we had similar ideals and such - and he does follow through with our son. When we spoke, I told him that we will be disciplining our son as we discuss and if he doesn't discipline his child while she's in our home, our children will wonder why.
He has gotten better - in that he'll tell her not to do something - but he has never actually punished for bad behaviour (he doesn't want her to be uncomfortable, his words). Like I said, I leave him to do his own thing. She's not here that much - he tends to do most visits at his mom's house.
Ah,,,easily solved. Remove
Ah,,,easily solved. Remove her from the room and hand her a box of tissues and tell her she can cry all she wants but she has to stay in the other room. She will up the ante with some banshee wailing but eventually she will stop. When she comes out you carry on as if she never left the room. She is crying to an audience.
LOL. Ever felt like driving
LOL. Ever felt like driving off?
I feel like if he addressed it when he first noticed it, it wouldn't continue, but he didn't. Everyone just says she's "sensitive". Whatever. She did it while we were in a store once (she was about 3 then) and I was so damn embarrassed. He took her outside to comfort her. The lady in the store asked me what's wrong with her and I said, "I don't know, she's not my kid". Kept on shopping with my son.
She's attention seeking and
She's attention seeking and while daddy rewards her by giving her the attention she's after, she'll just carry on. He sounds like a bit of a hypocrite to me - he knows how to deal with whining kids the correct way because he has the ability to do it with your son but seems to think it's okay to indulge his daughter when she chooses to behave like a whiny brat. The only way to stop it is to do as you do with your son - be firm, take no crap and have consequences for unnecessary whining. The skids used to do it when they were younger and it drove me insane, but we were very strict on never buying into the attention seeking and making sure punishments were always followed through and it stopped because they learned that whining doesn't pay and only earns them loss of privileges. I think you need to point out quite firmly to your dh that he is not treating the kids equally and that he is not doing is daughter any favours by indulging her in this way.
I have thought about saying
I have thought about saying it to him, but there's a reason why I disengaged. I did it because he uttered the dreaded words "you just hate her". Sure DH, and I hate our son too. I know he realises that he was being irrational, but I don't want to go back to being involved. So I stopped caring, what he does with her doesn't matter to me.
I think he is the way he is because of our blended family circumstances but that's on him. He will always see her as "disadvantaged" and that I should be her mother. But I'm not. I feel like he should gave appreciated my efforts when I was willing to give it. I'm no longer willing (at the moment).
God - what a hideous child.
God - what a hideous child. No I wouldn't spank her but I'd probably let her think I was having to control myself not to beat the shit out of her.
Put her in a room alone and make her stay there. Let her scream her head off - alone.
In the grand scheme of
In the grand scheme of things, she's not really bad and out of control like the kids I've read about here. But that crying thing... that got to me today big time.
Did it start when she was 5
Did it start when she was 5 or before that? DH's daughter has been doing it for quite a while now, but I don't think he has ever addressed it properly. He'll tell her to stop the crying because there's no reason to be crying. But there are no consequences and more often than not he gives her attention for it (pretty much a shoulder to cry on).
Our son has been doing the pouting (sometimes crying) for no reason and it gets shut down. When he starts we tell him to cut it out, he usually does. If not, he gets time out. If the timeput doesn't work and he's still sulky/moody he has to go take a nap. He hasn't done it in a little while so I guess it's working.