I just wanted to say that life's been pretty rough lately. My stepdaughter is a good kid but my role as a step parent has become a lot harder since she hit puberty. She's become a very mean person..towards me, her mother, and her friends. It's hard to blame her because her biological father is a sociopath (diagnosed by a professional) and he's really messing with her head..but I need a break too. Her mom needs to grow some balls and discipline the kid on her own so I don't have to be a part of situations that don't concern me. Stepdaughter's been disciplined a total of 5 times in her entire life. And all 5 times have been when her mother and I were together. Of course my stepdaughter blames me for the sudden change in parenting style, but it really is for her own good. Our version of "discipline" is sending her to her room or taking away the computer/ipod/cell phone. She throws massive tantrums and breaks plates, breaks toys and literally screams for hours..drives me nuts. Like I said, I really need a break.

I just want her to grow up to be a good person. I don't hate her or blame her for being a brat..when you're treated like the queen of the castle until age 11, including having your ass wiped for you until age 8, it's hard to adjust to anything less. I hope she will thank me someday. I hope she isn't going to turn into a sociopath like her father. Studies have shown that sociopaths create little sociopaths..just because of the shit she's had to endure from him and being witness to the abuse her father inflicted on her mother for her entire life.

When I say she's become very mean, I mean that she says downright cruel things to her mother and friends. I think it has to do with the fact that she was given everything until now, mainly because her dad had a high paying job and spoiled her with gifts and designer clothes..until he moved across country last December. Now she gets nothing from him but phone calls/emails dissing her mother. And now, she shares a tiny apartment with her mother and I. She went from wearing designer shirts only twice and then never wearing them again, to shopping at Target and the thrift store. Her biological father doesn't pay child support even though he makes 200,000/year and so her mother's forced to go to the food bank once a month and simply can't afford to buy her daughter a life even remotely close to what she used to have.

I personally believe my step daughter has it pretty good compared to her other friends. I think her life before was over the top. And before the whole puberty thing, I thought we were a pretty happy little unit.

But maybe it was because she still had the gifts from her dad. And she could go to his big house and the country club every other week. I think that's why she is mean, she's still trying to feel better than her friends because moving into an apartment and having to go to the food bank has knocked her down a few pegs.

Still no excuse for shouting personal insults at her mother (she looks like a hooker..needs to go back to college to learn English..needs to get a better job so biological father won't call her a scumbag anymore) I think she's a very respectable woman, I think she speaks English just fine for it being her second language, and I think being a manager of a bakery is a good job to have. It's not my partner's fault that the dad left and doesn't help support the kid. I think the kid needs to give her a break and to learn some humility and compassion. And of course, I think there should be no contact between stepdaughter and her father.

But until that happens, I just hope that my sweet, loving partner can muster up the strength to discipline her daughter without my help because I don't deserve to be blamed by my step daughter for "changing things". I think it would benefit all of us if I got to stay out of the discipline department. I think my step daughter would benefit from hearing her mother say NO to the way she treats her, because she was never able to have her voice heard when they were all still a family.