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Another day another confrontation

Cindy's picture

Submitted by Cindy on Sun, 10/22/2006 - 7:09pm

So here's the latest clanger, SD has been fitted for a backbrace which she must wear at night whilst in bed, we have 50/50 custody so obviously backbrace must make it's way from BMs to our house and vice versa. Originally SD and BM came up with a plan where BM would drop it off and pick it up from our garage at her leisure on transition day. Our garage is keycode access and no, neither DH nor I were consulted. So I told SD politely but firmly that that would not be happening and that SD would be required to carry backbrace discretely in a backpack to school on transition days which is basically 2 days a week. SD's best friend also brings backbrace to school so should not be a problem and SD seems to understand the situation and is ok with that. Everything works ok for a few weeks and then bam, I'm supposed to be out of town the day of transition and SD arrives at our house without it, as it turned out my flight got cancelled so I was home, BM calls our house and SS answers, she tells him to tell dad she'll call at the house to see him later. Well my DH asks me to call her back and when I do she thinks it's my DH calling and answers the phone kinda flirtatiously. Imagine her surprise when she hears my voice. I told her we'd collect the backbrace from her and that there was no need for her to call at our house. A few weeks later when I am out of town SD turns up again without the backbrace, when asked about it she says her mom told her to leave it in the car that day. BM calls my husband and says she'll be calling at our house, he says no and she gets all pissy and says I'm the problem, my DH says that I do a lot of great things for the kids and if I want it this way that's how it'll be. He mistakenly tells her to have SD wear it only at BM's house and BM then threatens to take us to court for not making SD wear it. I told my husband to stick to his guns and not be threatened by her, after all she is the one preventing SD from bringing backbrace to our house. SD really has no problem carrying backbrace back and forth and has told us this so why is BM trying to get to our house. Why can't she see that when you call SM the wicked witch of the west to the kids and verbally abuse her in front of the kids that SM is right to not want you near her house? Tell me if I'm being unreasonable here please but this latest incident just blows my mind.

Comments

Kim's picture

Submitted by Kim on Sun, 10/22/2006 - 7:27pm

My BF's ex has been trying to find reasons to come to our house. I just moved to my BF's state and we just bought a home together two months ago. The psycho bitch has been finding every ridiculous reason to come to our house...whether it is to drop off BF's son's skateboard on transition days or saying that she needs to drop of BF's son an outfit to wear on picture taking day at school (hello...we have clothes at our house-we don't let him run around naked!!!) I can totally feel your frustration and know exactly what you are going through. She has made four attempts in the last eight weeks. But each time my BF had denied her. I told him that if she comes onto our property even once, I will send her a trespassing notice. And if she decides to ignore that, I will get a restraining order against her. Both my BF and I do not want her near our home. There is absolutely no reason she needs to be at our house and same goes for your DH's ex. Your DH's ex sounds like she might be related to my BF's ex...LOL Good luck with keeping her away from your home!!!!

***Kim***

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Mon, 10/23/2006 - 6:47am

I don't think you included the bit about her being flirtatious on the phone the first time you told us about this. I feel like she's wanting to spend some "alone time" with your DH and is trying to use the backbrace as an excuse. That alone would make me not want her at my house! Add to the top of that the mean things she says about you, how could she ever think that she was welcome there? She says that you're the problem...sorry charlie, but she's the problem! I hope DH knows what's going on so that he can avoid her too...that sounds sad but I'm afraid to know what she'd try if she caught him alone Sad

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

lovin-life's picture

Submitted by lovin-life on Mon, 10/23/2006 - 7:39am

Hey Kim, we did the exact thing you mentioned. We couldn't get a restraining order against hubby X to keep her away from our home, because I had no evidence of threats or violence, and I didn't have a 'witness' to her keying my car.

But on the way out of court the baliff advised me of my rights under the protection of property/tresspass act, and we served her with notice. She would be subject to a fine of $500.00 if she came back.....she never did! Smile

Cindy, your not being unreasonable...the above probably isn't an option for you, given your 50/50 situation and the amount of co-operation that's neccessary.....

But it definately sounds like she's trying to 'get in & around your DH' when your away..... You & hubby draw your lines in the sand and don't let her play that game. It especially has to come from hubby lips to her ears....BUG OFF...your not welcome!!! Smile

Her carrying on like that. It's kind of pathetic.......

Infuriated's picture

Submitted by Infuriated (not verified) on Tue, 10/24/2006 - 9:37pm

It has been nearly 7 weeks since my ss moved back in. Things seem to be getting worse instead of better. I've been under some intense stress since he has a child from his ex-girlfriend and they broke up in September. They were supposed to marry. My home is supposed to be a place of peace, but it has been nothing like it. SS has basically his entire life in my house and I feel like I have no say in anything. I am so frustrated, sad, angry, and depressed. Even my wife is siding with her son. I just want him to be man and stop dropping all of his problems on us. Today, my sister-in law calls and threatens me, saying I've been saying nasty things about the people she cares about, yada, yada yada, and she's going to come at me if I do anything. I would never do anything like that to anyone. I have had some bottled up emotions that did come out, apparantly in my sleep that SS overheard. He runs over to my sister-in law to tell her. Then I had my wife call me at work starting to interrogate me like I was talking to someone on the phone about my SS. I never did!! I swear to God I didn't! I really am scared now because I feel they're all looking at me like I am this horrible person and now I am the bad guy. I was always told when it come to a mother and son, regardless if I'm his stepdad, her husband, etc.. She'll always side with SS. I'll be the ultimate loser. SS has been using are cars, eating our food, we care for his child, with usually nothing in return. He's an adult!! I just don't know why this is happening to me?? I sound like a babbling idiot, but It's really bad and I'm at the end of my rope with this. I love my wife with all my heart, and I don't want to lose her over this crap. I've become completely on the defensive on behalf of everything that has been dumped on us by my SS. Nothing I say or suggest is sensible to my wife. I was not raised like this. I honestly want him to get out of my house so peace in my own home is restored. I'm so torn apart by this I've literally thought about suicide. I won't, but It has entered my mind. SOS!!