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Stressed out and confused...

A Chuisle Mo Chroi's picture

Submitted by A Chuisle Mo Chroi on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 9:28am

I've been married for 8 yrs. My wife has 2 kids from a prev. relationship. Her son is Autistic/Retarded. He drives me insane with everything he does. He doesn't talk, only grunts and whines or repeats what you say, so, tech. He tears everything up and blows on anything that moves. He's 10, and he just stopped wetting his bed EVERY night, like yesterday. He eats like an animal and acts like one, yes sometimes walking on all fours. It causes me so much anxiety/stress to be in the same room, or within 1/2 a mile of him. We separated once, but I love my own kids so much, I tried to reconcile, for my kids. It isn't working. I don't believe in child abuse, I would rather eat a gun myself, which is what I think all those freaks you see on Nancy Grace should have done. I don't think of myself as a bad person, I know I need help and have no one I can talk to. 3 years ago, I had a tumor removed from my neck, left me paralyzed. While in rehab, one of my 2 year old twins died in his sleep. I missed the last 2 months of his life !! I loved him so much, and he's gone. I have many issues with this. Like why him ! He was smart and beautiful. I have since re-learned to walk a bit, it's taking longer because I didn't feel like doing anything for so long, except dying. I still do. I have a 7 yr. old girl and a 5 yr. old boy (his twin). I love them dearly and always wanted to make a happy home for them. It seems impossible, I don't want to be without them, or see them every other weekend. I feel so hopeless. He frustrates me so much. I hate feeling this way ......

Comments

on the fence's picture

Submitted by on the fence on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 10:13am

You hang in there! I know what you are dealing with. Please feel free to send me a message. With details I could compromise the anonymity we try to protect here, but please know that your kids need you and I'm sure your wife needs you. I know this!!! Don't make them live without you! I can't even tell you the loss I feel. As for the animal child, can you just ignore him? Is there care for him? Are you able to get a care giver and get some space? There has to be help for you and for him. Can you get away by yourself for a few days? A friend's house, anything? It sounds like you need to, badly.

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 10:57am

Oh my gosh! my heart goes out to you. Dealing with Autism is one of the hardest things - My BF son is autistic and I see the struggle and the work that needs to go into it. I am at a loss for words about loosing a child; I have never experienced this and would be thankful for my other kids keeping me alive. I hope you find someone to talk about this indepth with; It would be wise.......luck

pastepmomof3's picture

Submitted by pastepmomof3 on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 12:56pm

I'm so sorry for everything that you're going through, particularly the loss of your son. Have you sought grief counseling? Based on what you wrote, it sounds as if there may be some resentment over your son and your current family situation. It is very difficult and my heart goes out to you. There has to be someone who can help you. A counselor, pastor, social worker? We try really hard to give good advice based on our experiences, but you, my dear, need a professional and i hope you are able to find one whom you can confide in in order to deal with your situation.

Good luck to you.

A Chuisle Mo Chroi's picture

Submitted by A Chuisle Mo Chroi on Fri, 11/05/2010 - 5:07pm

Thank you all for your kind words. Your right, I need professional help. Thanks again and God Bless you