Well, for the past few days we have been spending some really good time w/ my MIL/FIL, and they were talking alot about the skids, they had them for a week before they came up here. They told us that the visit went really well, but SS told them that he knows something is "wrong" with his mother, and even his sister. He thinks his mother is manic, and knows that all of the "mess"(as he puts it) was her fault. Now she is divorced again, and he really sees how she is, as far as fighting with everyone, and driving people away. I was not to surprised at this, but I was surprised that he understands what it is....a mental problem, and she has passed something down to SD as well.....but we saw that coming too. I feel bad for my SS, because that is his mother, and he loves her of course, but their relationship will be another one that she damages....I can see that much. Between her drinking problem, and her mental issues, I worry about SS, especially with her 2d husband being gone now.He did have a way of keeping her grounded a bit. My MIL did say that she will keep her eyes "open", and she is there for SS if he needs her. I know that she would not let anything bad happen to him. He will be 15 in Nov., and she told him that if he ever needs help, that he can come to them. Thank god for grandparents!!!! His mother has been very irresponsible in the past, especially when she is alone, and I hope she does not wind up in jail again, or bringing home some scumbag guy around the skids.I know it's her life, and her kids, and she is free to live it, but it still make me, and of course my DH worry. The only thing we are thinking of doing, now that we know SS does indeed "get it", is to continue sending cards and letters, and let him know that as far away as we are , we love him , and will be there for him if he needs us as well. We don't want any contact with BM, so we need to be careful with what we say.......it has been very peaceful without her around , and I'm hell bent on keeping it that way, but I feel that SS should know he has our support. It's bittersweet to know that his eyes have opened, and he sees his mother for who she is, and what she is.