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Chavez's picture

Submitted by Chavez on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 4:39pm

I thought I would go ahead and say a public hello to steptalk and tell you about me a little. I am a BM and a SM both but I am a better BM than SM. Right now I'm just having a tough time being a SM because my stepkids are complete brats and I hate their BM. I feel really down in the dumps a lot because I used to be thin and look pretty good but I've gained a bunch of weight and now I just feel fat and gross. I get upset about it and it just makes me want to eat even more. Food is kind of an escape for me now and I don't know what to do.

With all these stepkid problems and weight issues I got really down and my friends don't want to be around me anymore because I'm not fun and I even got into with them because I was miserable in my own life.

I feel pretty rotten inside a lot but coming here and reading everyone's stories has helped me so much. It is nice to know maybe I'm not alone.

So thank you all.

Comments

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 4:49pm

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LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 4:54pm

Those dont sound like good friends if they would stop talking to you because you gained weight and are having a hard time with things now. How long have you been depressed. I could see them taking a step back if its been years. Are you currently doing anything to make youself feel better like working out, eating better, talking to someone?

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 4:58pm

You are not alone!!! The women on here are real and they offer great advice. I have had my butt chewed when I have posted things at times, but I really deserved it. Sometimes you can't a train coming when it is right in front of your face, until someone grabs you and tells you to move the hell out of the way.

My advice to you is to totally disengage and let the parents deal with the steps. If they are hungry - then tell them to ask thier dad. If they want something, then direct them to thier parent.

Then when you have chilled out and let their parents deal with them, then maybe you can work on being miss fun with them. You can be the fun guy and they can be the discipliners.

I have really worked on forging a bond with my eldest stepson, but only after I disengaged completely from them. Then when I no longer had the responsibility of being their mom away from mom, I was able to step into the role of friend and confidante. It isn't always easy, we all know this and are here for you!!!

WMKY's picture

Submitted by WMKY on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 5:12pm

Hi Chavez. It's nice to see that other people feel like this too. I am also a BM and SM. My stepson... well, I love him to peices but he can be a brat too and I'm starting to not like him because of his mother. I love him but I don't like him at the same time. And his mother is a horrid woman. She has convinced him that my daughter is not his real sister so we're having a very hard time with that.

Mrsronny's picture

Submitted by Mrsronny on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 5:24pm

I am also a BM and SM and also been a SD I say been because he died Sad we had real close relationship but took a lot of effort. I am glad disengaging is what they recommend here because it is the only thing that has made things easier with my SS17 and SS11 their BM makes it very hard at times though. I have same issues most on here have with her lying ignoring so on I prefer when she ignores me not sure why just makes me more comfortable. She also tells the boys how evil my girls are sigh awe well life goes on any ways venting here sure helps.

Rainbow.Bright's picture

Submitted by Rainbow.Bright on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 7:51pm

I'm sorry you feel this way. It sounds like you are pretty depressed though, more than just everyday problems getting you down. I have felt that way in the past and it got to the point where I had to see someone for medicine and therapy. I'm not trying to put words in your mouth but I hate to see anyone suffer more than they have to.

I wish you the best and hope that you seek help, even just talking to a professional can help so much.