Your a shitty parent...Dont blame that shit on me.
Not exactly SM related but Im a bit peeved. BS turned 6 the other day. If you have read some of my previous blogs you know DH adopted my son and it was finalized a few months ago. My ex husband willingly gave up his rights because he didn't want to pay CS anymore. He preferred to have the money to party. This past feb was 2 yrs since he has even seen my son. Now obviously he is out of his life and not aloud back in. Ex likes to go around knocking up young girls (hey if they are legal right?...ass), cheating on his fiancé/wife/gf/whatever. When he was seeing my son he had him calling every floozy he brought home stepmommy knowing that he never stays with one girl long. He would call me up and ask me to keep him during his time so he could party and get laid. The list of bullshit goes on. He is a truly shitty excuse for a man and father. When you think about it he basically sold his son to myself and DH. So every year on BS's b-day he writes stupid shit on FB like "Happy b-day BS. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you and what your mother forced me to do." Or on Mother's day he likes to write "Happy mothers day to the worst mother in the world. Hope your day fucking sucks for what you did to me "myname"." We have each other blocked from facebook so I don't see these things myself but we live in small towns where everyone knows everyone and within a day or 2 I hear all about it. Also found out my son has another half brother now....way to go dumbshit. How many more children will you sell for the money to party? Don't see how any of HIS choices are MY fault. I know I need to ignore it an d most of the time I could care less but don't use MY son's b-day to play the poor me card cuz you feel like exactly what you should...a shitbag. Uggg ok...end rant. }:)
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What a loser asshole. I'm
What a loser asshole.
I'm sure he gets a lot of sympathy from the floozies when he plays the victim and tells them how he was forced out of his son's life. Some women eat that shit up. And then they will have sex with him to make him feel better. Poor baby.
^^^^^^^^^^^^exactly^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^exactly^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I hope you're not being nice and you LET people know that he signed away his rights so that he wouldn't have to pay CS.
sorry you have to deal with
sorry you have to deal with this
My DS's father is an ass as
My DS's father is an ass as well. I broke up with him shortly after DS was born because I wasn't going to bring my baby to jail to visit his dad all the time. I didn't think that it was a good environment for a baby! Plus he had stolen stuff from my storage unit and lied about it, saying this person and that person had my stuff when in reality, he pawned it all.
I let him see DS whenever he wanted to. Then when DS was about 6 months old, CSE must have started nosing around because he left the state. Supposedly, nobody knew where he went. He left a 17 year old pregnant wife who got a divorce for abandonment and buried her poor stillborn baby without him around. Asshole.
He then went on to get two more women pregnant in the new place he fled to. He didn't actually have to start paying CS until my DS was almost 9.
He never had any contact whatsoever with my DS until after he turned 18. Then he sent him a few messages on FB. He moved back closer to our town and wanted to meet up with DS. I told my DS it was his choice as he was about 20 at the time. He declined to meet him saying it would be just awkward. The last time he texted my DS and asked if he'd like to go out for a beer or coffee or something, my DS responded, "Who is this?" because he didn't know the number. He got the response, "This is your piece of shit dad."
Hey, at least he knows it. I never said anything negative about him while my DS was in hearing range. It was a very long time ago when I read that you should never bash one of the child's parents because that is telling them that part of themselves is "bad". Too bad more BMs wouldn't have the same concern for their own children!
My mom was the same. It was
My mom was the same. It was one of the few things I actually stood up to her about (she had mental health issues and was a compulsive liar so it was easier to just go along and not confront her).
I totally agree. I left ex
I totally agree. I left ex about 2 weeks before I had our son. I didn't bother telling him I was in the hospital either. I left him because I found out he had a gf and she was pg and they didn't know if it was her bf's or my ex's. He actually asked me to keep living with him so we could take care of the baby together...ummm no stupid you can not have the cake and eat it too. Time goes by...they find out the baby is not his. So they have another one. Right after that one is born (as far as we know) he starts sleeping with one of his employees. Kicks out the one he cheated on me with and moves in the new one. Couple months later shes pg. Surprise!! Not really. So he starts cheating on her with baby mama #2 while baby mama #3 is watching the other 2 kids. Hes a sick prick. And both of these women know what hes like. I had a longgg talk one night with this new girl and told her how things really went down and shes still fighting over him with the other chick. To boot I don't even understand how he gets these young girls. They aren't bad looking. He on the other hand is this scrawny dude with seriously oversized features. Think Paul from the alien movie named "Paul". I know I went there too and married him but it was diff. He was the first guy to pay me any attention in high school so I was a bit blinded by that I suppose. But now I look at him and Im like WTF was I thinking!?! Gross. Anyway what he should be doing is being happy he made the choice he did for my son because he has a wonderful father now who loves him to pcs. Hes the only boy in our house. And DH and I can give him so much more and he will grow to be a much better man without that idiots influence along with multipal young women breezing in and out and throwing in their 2 sense.
As far as what we say infront of the kids. We don't talk about other parents at all infront of SD unless she brings BM up and we just let her talk and answer with oh yeah, cool, that's nice, etc. At this point my son knows what happened. He knows his bio walked out on him and that he has been adopted by DH. He has asked exactly why and I just told him He loves you so much that he wants you to have the best life and parents possible and knows Dh and I are the ones who can do that for you. He knows he cant. That worked for a while. Now he just says he left me because he would rather party and have lots of gfs and make lots of babies. He knows this because of what he remembers while he was still seeing him and is now getting old enough to see the truth for himself. I just say well bud Daddy(DH) and I love you and will always be here for you. Now if our BM could be this mature with SD instead of constantly placing doubt in her mind about DH and I that would be swell! Im not holding my breath though.
Our whole thing actually
Our whole thing actually started because I wanted to change BS's last name to ours. He didn't have the bios last name anyway. Ex said I will if you drop child support and still let me see him. I said no deal. SO then it was well I will give up my rights and let DH adopt him so I wont have to pay child support. I said I will hop on it. He actually called me a few times asking me why the hell it was taking so long. I had called probate asking them how we would go about just a name change and they said as long as the father had ANY rights to the child still they could not do it without him signing as well. Id be willing to bet that even with the bio in jail if he still technically has rights then a name change prob wouldn't be able to happen without him signing. Im not sure about other states but I think here it all depends on how long the father is in jail for and what he is in there for. I have even heard of courts ordering the child be taken to see the father once a month or something along those lines here. I don't get how they still get parental rights if they are in jail.
The state is most likely not
The state is most likely not going to let that happen unless there is someone else to adopt your son and take financial responsibility for him.
No, because should you ever
No, because should you ever go on government assistance, they want to have someone on the hook for CS.
actually, here anyway, as
actually, here anyway, as long as you're not on public assistance you can allow the father to sign away his rights and not collect CS BUT that's only if you can prove that you can support the child alone without any help
We didn't need lawyers or
We didn't need lawyers or anything and we thought it would be a much faster process then it was. We paid for all the court filings and such. It was a long drawn out process, but it really didn't cost much since we were able to waive the in home inspection. It just took forever for everyone to get their papers done, wait for court dates, DH had to go get finger printed for a very extensive background check. Waiting for that alone took a couple months. Then Ex had to go to a court to waive his rights infront of a judge and make sure he understood his rights and such...anyway it was an ordeal but it was soooo worth it!
I am not an attorney but I
I am not an attorney but I will be your lawyer.
Really depends on the state
Really depends on the state Id say. We are in VT and we were told that in order for ex to be able to give up rights he would have had to have been in Jail for a certain period of time (don't remember exactly what the time was cuz that wasn't an issue for us) or there had to be an adoption happening so DH said hell yeah I will adopt him! It canceled out all child support aside from the back owed which I settled for half. He though I was going to give all of it up and was royally pissed he still had to pay the 6 hundred and something. He had already signed off and tried to tell the guy in the court I black mailed him....Ummm who black mailed who? Effin moron. If you go to the official Probate court website for your state you should be able to find guidelines on adoption or the family court for guidelines on giving up parental rights and responsibilities.