Visitation starts today, and i’m anxious

Today SS comes for the christmas holidays.
Last year has been the worst holidays ever because of all the drama BM and MIL brought.
SS was supposed to come spend christmas with us at my family, but he was sick and BM refused to let him covid tested. She was supported by MIL.
She didn't want to traumatise him, which 1 year later still seems soo ridiculous regarding the context (he is tested now about once a week due to numerous school covid contacts).
Last year, holidays were horrible : i was alone at my parents house with our newborn baby while DH stayed few days with SS at our home. Because i refused to let him come sick to my family house without a test, MIL started to behave meanly.
Then, SS started to lie about supposed bad treatment DH gives him during visitation. We had to set up cams in all the house to protect us.
He started to text MIL "SOS danger" so phone is not allowed anymore here.

MIL is really mean with our 1 year old baby. Last time she came visit him, she laught about his teeth just in front of him ("i'm sooooo shocked about his horrible teeth ! A bus can pass through his mouth ! Ahahahah!).
And i hated that.
Now MIL is not welcome to our house anymore, even under my supervision.

This year, to avoid any drama and protect my familly from SS lies, i decided to not invite him at my parent's house for christmas. So he will stay one week with us, we will plan a special "christmas eve" on 23th december, and on 24 he will go back to MIL (BM send him there for the rest of the holidays). DH, BS and i will go to my family and BS could enjoy time with his grandparent (my parent).

I'm sad things go this way, but it's the best way for me to protect my son and my parent from drama.

We only have two rooms here. I don't want BS and SS to share the room. BS hates sleep with us (he doesn't sleep when we share the room), and i think SS is too old to be with the baby. I don't want BS to see things he is not supposed to (SS exploring sexuality for example).
We will give our room to SS and we will sleep in the living room.

Next holidays, we will build a room in the laundry for SS. It's a small room (about 6 square meters) so i'm anxious he tells MIL he sleeps in a broom closet.
We are working on a super room organisation, but if he doesn't like it, we will go sleep there when he is here because i'm tired to sleep on the sofa.

I hate blended family.

Caroline2b1211's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Your MIL is the worst. But

Your MIL is the worst. But good for you for setting boundaries.

I vote for SS sleeping in the living room.

Yes, she definetly is ! We

Yes, she definetly is !
We can't as the living room is our center room. SS will be disturbed by us going to the kitchen or the bathroom. Plus we won't have any place to relax

If you do it for you two,

If you do it for you two, then fine. I can see that having a kid try to sleep and having to tiptoe around him might be worse than sleeping in the living room (if you like to stay up late - personally, I would just relax in my bedroom after SS goes to bed in the living room).

Yes, right it's better for us

Yes, right it's better for us like that. But in february, he will have his "room". Hopefully it won't create any drama

Look on the bright side

You get to spend a relaxing time with your family without the stress of SS. Yes, you do have stress until 23rd but then it will all be over in time for Christmas.

On the new room for SS. DO NOT give him your bedroom. If he whinges to MIL, tell her to pound sand. A small boy should not rule the house.

Thanks for support. The room

Thanks for support. The room will be ready in february. We won't tell him the plan untill it's finished. I wan't to avoid SS talking about the project to MIL. For sure she will condition him to hate the idea and see the room as an awfull and unfair treatment between BS and him.

I hope if he comes in february, enjoy times in his new surprise room, it can be different and ok.

My SD complained about her

My SD complained about her room being a closet. It is only a hair smaller than ours but God forbid we had some storage bins along one wall. She really thought that we shouldn't be using her room for anything when she only stayed the night a couple days a year.

You can't win so don't try. When you give a skid something it's not good enough. They don't understand what you're giving up and it only sets it up so that you will have to give more and more and more.

Let your mil have him they sound like two peas in a pod.