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Tomorrow big talk with SS9

Caroline2b1211's picture

Tomorrow it's SS9 big talk with DH and BM. 
The goal for DH is to point out SS9 non acceptable behaviour. No more excuse for his manipulative lies and victim position.

My fear is that this talk turns into "how can daddy do to make you feel more happy and comfortable" ? 
I know BM can't resist to it in front of poppy crying SS. 
Let's hope DH don't feel trapped !

Comments

CastleJJ's picture

Our BM and/or SS9 accused us of physical abuse two weeks ago. This is the exact thing that BM wanted us to do... She said she wanted us to talk to SS9 about his feelings and then "modify what occurs in our home" to make SS feel more safe and comfortable. It has nothing to do with SS, it's all about BM trying to control our household. 

Your SS9 is lying and being manipulative. He needs to be taught that the world doesn't revolve around him and his feelings. If BM expects you and DH to modify your household and change your lifestyle to accomodate SS, to make him happier, safer, or more comfortable, tell BM to pack sand. What happens in your household is none of BM's business. Don't change a damn thing. 

CastleJJ's picture

Our BM and/or SS9 accused us of physical abuse two weeks ago. This is the exact thing that BM wanted us to do... She said she wanted us to talk to SS9 about his feelings and then "modify what occurs in our home" to make SS feel more safe and comfortable. It has nothing to do with SS, it's all about BM trying to control our household. 

Your SS9 is lying and being manipulative. He needs to be taught that the world doesn't revolve around him and his feelings. If BM expects you and DH to modify your household and change your lifestyle to accomodate SS, to make him happier, safer, or more comfortable, tell BM to pack sand. What happens in your household is none of BM's business. Don't change a damn thing. 

Caroline2b1211's picture

Hi CastelJJ, i have been reading all your post and it sounds like we have in some way the same story. 
SS9, same age. A baby (mine 7 months old). DH and us doing whatever we can to make SS feel safe. 
 

That's sort of thing drive me crazy, i'm just exhausted that the world revolves on SS since my baby birth. 
 

I send you support 

CastleJJ's picture

Thank you. I have reflected and spoken with others during these past two weeks and these are my thoughts that could apply to both your situation and mine. The world only revolves around SS if you and DH allow that to happen. Like I said, don't let this be a conversation of "what can Daddy do for you?" It needs to be, "You are lying and manipulating and it will not be tolerated." It isnt your job to change your life to appease SS.

Too many people now a days are raising these overly sensitive kids who are so entitled and believe everything revolves around them. Newsflash SS: that isn't how the world works. You went home and said "it was boring" after all the fun activities we did with you. Guess what, this visitation will really be boring because we aren't planning anything fun, so figure out how to entertain yourself. Take time to focus on your baby because SS doesn't deserve the emotional and mental headspace he is consuming. Honestly, if your ILs are as bad as you say, I think your SS will PAS out regardless, so just keep doing what you guys want to do. 

grannyd's picture

Hey, my dear girl,

I suspect that I may have become a little too attached to my ST friends but, at my age, injustices seem to rankle more than in my younger years. The BM sins against you, along with ‘justmakingthebest’, ‘Caroline2b1211’ and a few others infuriate ‘ol grannyd more than you can imagine; my blood pressure riseth.

Reading about the reduction in the hefty child support that profited one of the nastiest, most fanatical bitches on this site had me laughing, cheering and raising a glass. Yes, YES, YES!

How I would love to have seen BM's malicious face when she read the order! Seriously, Hon, I’d pay for the privilege. Hmmm…does that make me petty? Yeah, well….

Oh, so pleased! Clapping