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BM and MIL stole DH’s jewels to SS own benefit

Caroline2b1211's picture

Hi there, 

I just need to vent, i'm so pissed off. 
 

DH has financial issues and needs to collect a huge amount of money before this autumn. 
His savings are not enough and he wants to minimize the bank loan he will have to do.

I said i want to be the less impacted possible about this issue. In fact, this financial issue is the result of DH bad decision taken with MIL advice. DH is the one responsible  for his bad choice, with MIL help. 
 

As i want our house to be the less impacted, DH suggeted to sold his family jewels. 
Many years ago, He let at BM house his golden chain and his father seal ring. He asked BM if they were still there, and she said yes. 
He asked BM to bring them back at the last pick up. She agreed. 
 

But then, few days lated, he received a text from BM saying she only has his golden chain, but not the golden seal ring. What a coincidence ! Isn't it ?
DH knows she has it, and bets BM and MIL had a chat. He bets MIL said to BM to give him his chain, but as the ring is a gift from his father, it should go to SS. 
 

The ring costs about 5K and would have helped DH to collect the sum. I'm so pissed of. DH is still alive and they start to plunder him for SS benefit. 
 

DH tried to talk with BM but she says she doesn't have the ring, she though she had it, but when she checked the jewelry boxe, the ring wasn't there. She suggested DH to call his mother to have a talk about that ring. 
What a coincidence too ?! DH cuts ties with MIL and won't call her, as he knows she is the one who suggested BM to keep the 5K ring. 

Comments

Winterglow's picture

"Bm, that ring is worth a lot of money and I cannot accept that it has just 'gone missing'. Therefore, I will be contacting the police about investigating. Imagine how much they might have stolen from you too! Have you checked your own valuables recently?" And wait and see what develops ...

Caroline2b1211's picture

I would love DH told that. But pretty sure he won't. He doesn't want to make any drama with BM. 

Winterglow's picture

That's the whole point. By sympathizing and suggesting that she possibly lost some stuff too, he isn't directly accusing her. OTOH, letting her know that he's going to the police the next day (giving her 24 hours to capitulate and contact MIL), might just make the ring magically reappear.

By doing nothing at all, nothing will change.  And 5000 is far too expensive to just write off.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

But are you sure the resale value of the ring is 5k.  Most pre-owned jewlery has a much lower price used than retail price unless it has historic importance.  For example a diamond ring being sold by retail at £1.000 will probably only be worth £50 resold to trade.

Much of the value of gold is on weight or scrap value only.  Make sure you know the real re-sale value.

If it isn't worth as much as you initially, don't spend to much emotional labour on the loss of the ring by BM or it being appropriated by MIL.  Otherwise follow Winterglows advice.

Caroline2b1211's picture

Yes the ring is a 60 grammes 24K gold and has a precious stone on it. Only in weight gold, the value is about 2,5K and the stone has value too. 
Even if he could sold it for half value 2,5K, it would help very much ! 
Even if he tells to BM that he will go report the lost to the police, policeman will investigate and the first thing they will do is to ask BM because she sent a text to DH "yes i have it" and she is the last one to see the ring. 
But surely, it can work as bluff. I'll talk to DH about that. 
 

Today, we have SS for week holidays. 
I'll focus on being disengage and don't spend too much energy on him. I'm tired and he is such a bratty liar, he doesn't deserve my energy.

Our camera record everything to protect us from his lies, and no "extra" activities have been planned for him. We will go to the activity center from monday, and it will be far enough. He will learn what to be bored means. 
 

thinkthrice's picture

Precious and scrap metals are skyrocketing right now

I'm placing my bet that she "can't find the chain" either...

They both have been probably pawned and spent if she is anything like the Girhippo and her mother.

Caroline2b1211's picture

The chain has been founded and DH just picked it up this morning. However, it is not as valuable as the ring. 

Thumper's picture

Glad he picked up the chain.

I would file a police report about the ring. Strange he doesnt want to. That is a red flag to me. IF someone broke into your private home, stole stuff would he also not want to call the police.

Was this insured?

The ring needs to be reported stolen.

 

hereiam's picture

Many years ago, He let at BM house his golden chain and his father seal ring

Unfortunately, since it was just left there, in a home he no longer lived in, I don't think it can be reported as "stolen". He should have taken possession of his belongings.

Caroline2b1211's picture

Yes, but what to say in the report ? "Hello i left many years ago a ring at my ex's house. After telling me by text she still have it, Now she says it's not there, and that it might be my mother who have it. I'm not talking to my mother anymore. What can you do to help me ?" 
Authorities would think he is SO stupid (and they would be right), they will laugh !

Plus, as it's a gift from his father (his father gived it to him when he was child - another stupid act..), he has no invoice. 

hereiam's picture

but what to say in the report ? "Hello i left many years ago a ring at my ex's house

Exactly, it wasn't actually stolen, it was left there, by him.  For, how many years, now?

Caroline2b1211's picture

For about 8 years ! As i told DH, lucky on him to got the chain back ! It's almost a miracle.

For the ring, first she said she still have it, and then, few days later, she said she didn't find it and that it must be MIL who took it many years ago.

I'm pretty sure BM has the ring, but because it's a family ring, she decided to keep it for his son with MIL advice. 

hereiam's picture

Well, if you think it would work for your husband to threaten them with police involvement, that might work, but otherwise, proving actual theft might be difficult.