Okay well, on the way to dinner tonight in the car I decided to lay down the law about the baby...I said, "if either of you are sick AT ALL I would appreciate it if you would not kiss the baby on the lips, etc...my 14sd goes, "I'm sorry I shouldnt have been kissing him...I shouldn't even be coming over to your house" and my husband of course fell for that and started back pedaling "you guys come over when you are sick no matter who you are going to upset" I was like...whatevs. When we got to dinner, my husband goes, "did you really have to say that on sd16's birthday day?!?" And I said ALOUD..."yes. I needed to say that now...and when we sat down at dinner I said, "Im going to say what I need to say when I need to say it...OK?" He said, "fine." I stood up and didn't back down and it went well...I actually did not feel like a victim!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh...

BTW, I never ever said that they can't come over when they are sick but do u see how it gets turned around that "SHE is so mean that she doesn't want you guys at our house...I'm sorry you have to deal with her" ...it gets twisted!

I told my husband before hand that I'm going to start standing up for myself and I felt confident all day and he was looking on my Facebook to see if I've been talking to any guys! I realized that the reason my husband talks down to me is to keep me in a low self esteem state because of his OWN insecurity that I will leave him...I had a revelation of that...the minute I'm empowered, hes freaking out about me cheating...weird.

Please keep your strength! I know first hand what it's like to be bullied in a marriage and after 13the years when I stood up for myself it had been too many years and I got the same accusations (exh had also been having affairs) Finding my strength sooner might of dine so much good for my and my kids lives so much sooner. Never let tourself ve silent when you need to speak. I'm proud of you keep it up!

the reason my husband talks down to me is to keep me in a low self esteem state because of his OWN insecurity that I will leave him

You really need to talk to him about this or he will always do it. You need to be able to be yourself and stick up for yourself and he needs to feel secure enough to let you do that. Otherwise, there is going to be a lot of resentment on both sides.