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Going to completely lose it

c-mom's picture

Told SD13 to hand me a sock today from across the room and she throws it at me. Tell DH what happened and he says, "Are you sure she wasn't throwing it TO you and not AT you." (If he, his ex-wife, his mom, or ANYBODY for that matter told one of his kids to hand them something and they even tossed it to them let alone threw it to them, that would be disrespect in his eyes) Then he asks SD what that was all about. She tells him "I was just throwing it to her, Daddy." So, he tells me she didn't mean to throw it at me and does nothing about her disrespect. I will be taking a vacation from cooking, cleaning, or entertaining for the ENTIRE week. And then go from there.

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c-mom's picture

PS... it is spring break and I don't intend to clean up any mess made this week once I've made my point either.

sunbeam0901's picture

I have to agree. Now, if she'd thrown a toy or rock or something that could cause harm or damage, then yes. I would be upset. A sock? Not worth the fight. If there's more to the story, please share. My opinion may change! Wink

StickAFork's picture

I agree I-m so happy

It's a SOCK. She threw it to you when you asked for it.
This doesn't sound like some crazy offense.

OP, perhaps this is a symptom of other issues?

c-mom's picture

Yeah, I guess without knowing the background of the abuse I take from this little you know what, this wouldn't seem like much. It is just the fact that I am the only one who does anything for his kids, including him and his nasty ex, yet I am the only person that his kids are allowed to disrespect. He never makes excuses for their disrespect with anyone else. Only me. And I'm the only person in their lives who has earned any respect from them.

c-mom's picture

Oh yeah, and she didn't throw it to me. She threw it at me. It wasn't playful. It was done out of anger. I will not be disrespected in ANY way by children who I do everything for because their worthless druggy mom pawned them off on us.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

My SD, then 6, hit me one day with her full elbow in the face trying to get in between me and SO in the bed.he said it was an acccident.Yes, right.

fedup13's picture

UGH, DH's kid has full on physically attacked me multiple times, just another one of the many reasons why I disengaged. He's a nut. It was a sock, but it is not about the sock OP, it is about SD and her treatment of you. I totally understand what you are meaning and why this is actually a big deal to you.

Disneyfan's picture

This is worth the fight. If you ignore the small stuff, they will move on to big stuff.

If the OP and/or her husband had given her hell about throwing the sock, chances are she wouldn't dream of pulling that again.

c-mom's picture

Coincidentally, her disrespect just keeps getting more and more brazen. Why? Oh yes, because Daddy will always be there to put excuses and lies in her mouth so she never has to face the consequences. Well, it blew up in her face this past weekend. She called me fat for the last time in front of the wrong person and exposed herself as the little b**ch that she is. Her maternal grandma went COMPLETELY off on her and called her out in front of everybody. I don't necessarily agree with how she did it but hey, the little b had it coming. Grandma said "SD, you're looking especially ugly today. Sitting there so skinny your bones stick out. That isn't pretty. Your hair is a mess. How do you even show your face in public? I wouldn't want anybody to see me if I was that ugly." Then right when sd was about to let the flood flow, grandma said, "Now, you know that I don't mean that. You know how I feel about you. But how could you sit there and say things like that. You know words hurt and if you didn't, well then you damn well do now! I better not ever hear you speak to anybody and especially the woman who takes care of you when your mom won't that way again." And she walked off. Of all people to come to my rescue, I never thought it would be BM's mother. And I am happy it was her, because now SD knows what an ass hat she has been acting like since the person who she thinks should hate me took my side over hers and her mom's.

oldone's picture

I would not wait until her dad came home to "tattle". I'd ream the little bitch out right then and there.

No it is not your responsibility to parent her but you have every right to defend yourself. A 13 year old brat is not a small child. You do not have to resort to profanity to chew out her behind.

Instead of telling her to go eff herself tell her to go suck an egg - preferably rotten.

If a teen chooses to disrespect you and has a worthless parent you have total permission to tell her to go fly a kite (or go to hell) if she even speaks to you.

3LittleDragonflies's picture

My SD is still a toddler, but I had plenty of times that I was watching/ around my preteen SILs when I lived near them and if the thing I notice was if I dealt with a situation myself and explained it to their parents later, the girls learned to respect me as an adult. If I went to their parent to deal with the situation, they saw me as a peer. I never once had to swear at them, I just would tell them very plainly that their behavior wasn't acceptable and to try again or go away (depending on the situation). Perhaps that would be a more useful approach for you?

Onefootout's picture

She's 13. Nuff said. I'm with you c-mom. Hell no. Knowing what I know now, and now that I'm older, next time I would just put the fear of God into her, and then when DH told me I was being too harsh I'd tell him to kiss my ass.

I have done this before when a 9 year old yelled at me "Don't touch my PSP!" I told him "Don't you ever speak to me that way again!" Ex-BF told me I was being too harsh. Wish I had told ex-bf to kiss my ass back then.

3LittleDragonflies's picture

That was one of my favorite lines on SIL13 when I would take care of her. I didn't yell, I just got a very scary, very quiet voice on and told her to "Never. Ever. speak to me that way again." It worked.