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Trouble in paradise

butterfly1984's picture

Soooooo.....new to this site but looking for advice. My oldest, which is the middle between the five that we have of his and her kids has been acceptionally not nice, and she's not particular whether it's his kids or my kids, and has even been caught lying to get the other kids in trouble. I've grounded, I've spanked, I've done early bed times and other various forms of punishment. Now he's saying that he doesn't want his kids around her. Don't really think that's a solution to the problem, only gonna cause more. Any thoughts?

Comments

smomof2's picture

How old is she? Have you tried therapy? Sometimes kids act out because they need attention, they are frustrated, are trying to get their needs met, etc... Therapy might give her a safe place to voice her frustration and maybe help you find out what's going on.

not THAT happy's picture

If she's been caught lying and being particular rude it may be a scream for attention. I'm not saying you are not giving her attention, but probably she needs more. I don't know how old is she, but maybe a therapist could help?

butterfly1984's picture

yeah did therapy with her. she's too smart for that though. told her therapist exactly what she needed to to get what she wanted.

not THAT happy's picture

was she always like that or when did it started? is there any trigger you can remember for such behavior?

butterfly1984's picture

She's six and the first that I noticed it was when her bio dad remarried and uprooted them from everything. Three court battles and a dhs investigation they are with me now and I shouldn't complain if this is the only issue I'm dealing with, but it's causing great concern.

billysmith's picture

By reading over the post, my suggestion would be a therapist. I hate to hear about things like this, but I think that would be the best suggestion.

I work for Infinisource, a COBRA Administration provider.

butterfly1984's picture

Totally all for therapy in most instances, but in this instance with a compulsive liar putting her in the room with a mandatory reporter, is that really such a wise idea?

smomof2's picture

not sure. But a good therapist would be able to read through her BS. She's only 6 afterall, I'm sure an experienced and perceptive therapist will help her sort out her issues. As the parent you can clue the therapist in during the intake/family history section.