Question for those EOW-ers out there. Do you find that you and your significant other end up having arguments in the 24-48 hrs. after the SK's go back home?

I feel like I'm noticing a patterns and I'm wondering if it is just me and my BF or if this is common. Our arguments never seem to start out being about the SK, but they always seem to end up there. It is like he (ok, I'll admit to both of us) is just spoiling for a fight after holding everything in during the build up to the SK visit and then after once they are gone, that tension doesn't dissipate unless it is given an outlet.

Tiny vent: MIL announced during my birthday dinner this weekend that it was our turn to host the Christmas Eve party. Not asked if we wanted to, or even pulled me/us aside and asked. Just full on announced that this year's party would be at brutallyhonest and BF's house. Since BF didn't seem like he was going to say anything. I piped up and said I wasn't sure that would work for us as my side of the family has a C Eve traditional dinner and by hosting we wouldn't be able to attend both events as we usually do. We don't split the holidays like T-day with one side and then C-day with the other. We split each and every holiday down the middle because BF is afraid his parents might spend a holiday by themselves. His sister lives out of state and rarely visits and BIL may or may not show up to family events based on his whims. I think this is stupid and makes for "Hellidays" (wish I could claim credit for that but I read it on someone's post) and lots of traveling. Whatever. If we can't work out splitting events, then we'll split each holiday down the middle. Fair is Fair.

Anyway, announcement ends in awkward silence…I'm bugged, but holding it in so as not to make a further scene. Fast forward to Monday evening. BF is venting about how frustrating his family is and how awkward family events are (story too long to tell). Starts in on how his mom really put us in a tough spot with her announcement and how he doesn't want to host anything in our tiny house (we have a very small house, having more than one other couple to dinner is squishy). I chime in with yeah it means instead of doing both family events we could only do one side and since when is "rotating houses" a tradition? BOOM! Apparently, this vent session was for my listening pleasure only. I'm not invited to have opinions on MIL's announcement or events declared to be at my house. Fight spirals into EVERYTHING.

Since I had a 6 month reprieve from the constant turmoil of EOW weekend visit, I noticed that BF and I were totally on the same page when the turmoil of SD was removed. Of course we disagreed from time to time in my 6 months of bliss, but things never seemed spiral into an everything-but-the- kitchen-sink fight or to raised voices. Now I feel like its back, like I'm going to be back to walking on egg shells for a week after any visits to avoid whatever landmine BF is waiting for me to step in so we can easy his guilt-parenting mind by making me the bad guy.

It just breaks my heart and frustrates me. BF is so awesome in so many ways. I have so much love and respect for him, but I feel like I see a pattern and can't do anything about it and sometimes I wonder if I can make it till SD is 18 (going on 5+ years now). I know adult SK are hard, but they have to be easier than teens and the guilt they give bio parents.