You are here

Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanukah/New Years - really? But didn't we do this LAST year??????

beyond pissed-off's picture

Submitted by beyond pissed-off on Wed, 11/23/2011 - 5:19pm

I don't know about you all but I am just not up for the holidays. I have never been a huge fan. I come from a pretty disfunctional family so childhood holidays generally consisted of lame presents that no one gave any real thought to, bolts of material and a pattern along with a promise by my mother tht it would eventually be made but never were (probably good because she had horrible taste!) and a fearful mother walking on eggshells hoping to make my father happy. But that never worked because before 4:00 he was always drunk and beating up at least one of us and looking for his next victim!

Once I became an adult I swore that I would have holidays on my own terms and that usually meant ignoring the whole thing. With my first husband, who was a truly wonderful person, we had a couple nice traditional holidays but that fell apart following his 78 year old father marrying a 35 year old woman and the family splitting over it. (The old guy had money - which he left ENTIRELY to her when he died. Shocker, right?)

My ex and I had some great times - once even taking off to Vegas and ignoring the whole deal. Dressed to the nines, drinking and playing craps Christmas eve, hitting the spa and then doing it again on Christmas was bizarre but amazing and met some really cool people!

Now we have to do the entire "kidcentric" holidays - but they are not my kids and they don't want me around. There is absolutely NOTHING pleasant about it. They want everything under the sun, then complain about it and ask for MORE, sulk all day and embarrass the hell out of me in front of my inlaws by being rude to me. FH of course "didn't see/hear it" so nothing happens. BM had consistently refused to allow the grandparents access to the kids so they sure as hell aren't going to say anything. Although the family doesn't drink (I fortify myself with Xanax before the festivities!) it feels so much like my childhood that I just want to run and hide.

FH and I are planning a weekend trip the day after Thanksgiving so I can't miraculously be ill and unable to attend. Sigh... However, I am seriously considering contracting something highly contageous for Christmas. I think leprosy may be difficult to pull off but but a raging stomach flu and maybe an accompanying case of pinkeye (I am pretty good with the cosmetics!) may get me out of the festivities! }:)

So who is with me on the Grinch brigade??? Biggrin

Comments

NCMilGal's picture

Submitted by NCMilGal on Wed, 11/23/2011 - 5:33pm

Meeeee!!!!

Actually, it's not the skid who makes holidays miserable. She is absolutely cool just chillin' with her dad and me, and doesn't even mind not getting $$$$$ STUFF for XMess. BM takes electronic away as punishment, SD15 is on perma-punishment (because it's easier than actually parenting) so there's no point in buying her anything. So SD15 gets experiences instead - a writing camp last year, a REAL trip to DC to see the White House and the Capitol and Congress and all the tourist stuff this year.

My issue is my spoiled-ass sister. She insists on doing these extravagant gift exchanges - which our mother canNOT afford. I don't want more STUFF. She ignores both of us and gets pissy if we don't participate. Screw that. My sister is on "ignore" from now on, I swear.

DH is a real trip too. Every other year we go to MIL's, and I have a good time visiting with SD15 and MIL and my favorite SIL, but what does DH do? Revert to sulky teenaged baby of the family. Drives me up a wall that a man who will be 40 this Christmas Day buries himself in computer games and communicates by pouting.

So yeah, not looking forward to the holidays - ever.

beyond pissed-off's picture

Submitted by beyond pissed-off on Wed, 11/23/2011 - 5:42pm

SOOOO hear you on the sulky guy! Sulking and irrational grumpiness runs in FH's family. Between FH, his dad and brother at least 2 of them are guaranteed to have their boxers in a bunch before the turkey is carved!

Very cool that you get along with the skid - totally jealous. The experience gift is a fabulous idea!!!!! Our BM also takes items away at the drop of a hat. Mind if I take a page from your book and look into some ideas around our area? Immitation is the truest form of flattery you know! Smile

NCMilGal's picture

Submitted by NCMilGal on Wed, 11/23/2011 - 7:45pm

Ah, SD15 had some icky self-centered tween moments, but since she got a little older and started actually USING her brain (some kids never seem to, though) she's been an absolute joy.

Experiences are awesome! We try to do stuff that BM would NEVER do. The DC trip came about because SD15 REALLY wanted to go on the DC trip for her civics class - but it was $1600. BM told her they couldn't afford it (she had already committed to a spring break band trip - which she's behind on payments for) We told SD15 that if she could come up with the down payment ($150, I think) we would pay the rest. It would have been tight timewise, and SD15 was really busy with band stuff and stressing out, so we told her we would take her and do ALL the bells and whistles (White House tour, watching Congress, all the monuments, the museums, etc) this summer. DH is a huge history buff, so the three of us will have a lot of fun.

Have you tried geocaching? I think that might be good for teenagers - and it's free if you have a phone with a GPS.

We're going to try to kick SD15 in the butt and have her GET A JOB this summer. Even though our unemployment rate is nearly double what it is in BM's town, there are a few places within walking distance where we might be able to "assist" her into a job. (There's grocery bagger, and there's a restaurant) She needs to earn money for herself, and we're thinking of telling her that if she can save up enough for insurance, title, taxes, registration, etc, by August 2013, we'll buy her a reliable beater with a heater. Of course, with three skids, that's not nearly as easy for you guys to do.

dodgegal05's picture

Submitted by dodgegal05 on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 1:17am

I'll take a grinch badge. Last year all the cards and gifts from all but one skid were to fdh only. One skid wrote me a nice letter about getting to know me...never happened. I think that hurts more than the other skids completly annoying me. Two of the grandskids got me a gift, kind of weird, but maybe the nasty attitude skips a generation. We'll get them cards and probably gift cards, we'll get nothing from all the skids except the one probably. Even as a kid I hated the holidays. Too much going on and my family never had a lot of money so christmas was stressful. Its the same now plus I get to deal with hateful skids. Is it new years yet? Blum 3

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Thu, 11/24/2011 - 4:33pm

I hate the holidays too - I get deeply depressed! and it is worse now that my parents are in such very bad health.

I had perfect holidays growing up thanks to my mom, and it makes me miss her so bad!! (she has alzh.) DH and I usually spend way too much and then regret it, but that is my only consolation, lame I know!!!!

so I will go into hiding with you :evil: