MIL insisted on having yet another attempt at a party for SD16 (she was a no-show for the first 3). I could think of nothing I wanted to do more than spend a 4th straight weekend with the inlaws... not. On a side note, BIL and SIL did not get the cancellation call in time last weekend and so wasted a trip out for the 3rd b-day cancellation.

Anyway, I went to support BF because he said he was doing this for MIL not SD. By Sunday afternoon (party scheduled for 4), we still had no confirmation as to whether SD16 would really show. She, of course, wouldn't return BF's calls or emails. MIL had left messages but hadn't heard back. If I were in charge (which I'm not). My last message would have said, "if I don't hear back from you with a confirmation by XX date and XX time, I will assume you can't make it and cancel so as to not inconvience the ENTIRE family." but, not in charge.

So to be honest, I was quiet surprised when we showed up at MIL's and SD16 was there. SD16 won't let BF pick her up anymore (insists MIL or FIL do it if she HAS to come over for ANYTHING).

SD16 hardly talked or engaged with the adults. Mostly played with her phone. MIL was pathetic, she made a card for SD that said "good for one shopping spree with grandma". It would have been cute with almost any other kid, but MIL kept saying. "So when are we going to go shoping?" SD would evade, "I don't know, I work weekends." MIL "Well, let's set a date." SD "OK". MIL "So what date?" SD "Just give me a call." It was all I could do not so say "MIL just give her a gift card! She's 16 and doesn't want to be seen at the mall with her grandmother. Plus you are setting yourself up for heartbreak because she will CANCEL ON YOU 3 TIMES before she shows up for the shopping trip! And I don't feel like being at your beck and call to come comfort you after each canceled shopping trip!"

There were a few comments about how SD might want to dust off her presents, but largely her awful behavior was not mentioned the entire evening!!Seriously, she has canceled at the last minute 3 previous times. People have driven in only to find the party canceled and NO ONE decided SD needs a heart to heart about how to treat people!!

I had little to say the entire night. Since my opinions and view on parenting or children don't matter and are largely ignored by BF and MIL. I found it better to just keep my mouth shut. Added to that FIL decided to spout off on politics so it was like listening to a democratic Rush Limbaugh for several hours. Good times.

BF did end up taking SD16 back to BM's house because it was raining and he didn't want to inconvenience his parents. One would think a captive car ride might be the time for a little talk about returning messages, being considerate of others plans. But no. The 3 of us were silent for most of the 1/2 hour ride.

To top it all off BF was moody and pissy all weekend. He used to do this EOW when SD would visit and it just about broke us up. In the past year that SD hasn't come for EOW, I haven't had to deal with BF's guilty moodiness and I really don't miss it.

I like having my life and weekends back. I like having a BF that isn't riddled with guilt and wearing daddy-goggles. I'm just fine if SD never comes for another visit again!