Well my DH and I had a blowout this morning and I was crying and he took SS out and went to McDonalds and left me there with our daughter. I felt so discouraged and even asked him if he wanted our daughter and me to be here when he got back. He looked shocked that I would even say that. Maybe that is the kick in the ass he needed, I have never threatened to leave before. I honestly think that he thought I would keep laying down and taking it forever. He told me he doesn't want me and our daughter to leave, that he loves us, and that we are the most important things in his life. So he took out SS to get breakfast and have a talk to him man to "man". They talked about his behavior and disrespect and that if he couldn't treat us and our home with respect maybe he would just have to spend less time here and more with his mom since obviously if he is so unhappy here he would rather be there. My SS said thats not what he wanted at all that he is happy here except when he is in trouble and when DH and I fight. My DH didn't let down and told him that when he is trouble he has no but himself to blame and we wouldn't just let him get away with stuff. He told me all this when he got back and I told him I couldn't go one without somethings changeing so I went online and found a place near us that offers relationship counciling and coping classes, it will be 10weeks, 1day a week for 3hrs each day. Part of the time will be counciling and the other part is classes about how to talk about issues in a rational way and the best way to communicate. I am optimistic that this will help us, we have a few things going for us, we want to be together, not just for our child but because we love and truly want this to work. The main problem in our relationship is my SS and his behavior and the way my DH responds to it. We have other stressors like getting the house ready but this is our main issue. My DH loves his son but he doesn't really want to do any of the work, he doesn't want to give up his time with him though because it is "his time". I told him he can't disingage from his own kid. Its crazy because he is not like that with our daughter, he is so attentive and loving with our daughter. He wants to know about her doctors appointments and how she is eating, he picks out her clothes. He never does that with SS. So all the stress with SS lands on me. Plus I am with SS more then either of his parents and I cook and keep our house clean, his mother doesn't do that and neither does DH so he ends up resenting me for being the one to take care of him and not his parents. I think this kid despretly wants his parents to be involved, he has other issues to like ADD but I beginning that a lot of his issues stem from this. Hopefully the counciler will be able to explain this better to DH then I can. I know my marriage can work if we work on it, there are more good things then bad (more so when SS isn't here). This wasn't a vent more of an update. I am exited to start counciling and feel more light hearted then I have in awhile. DH seemed to get some of it today maybe all he needed was the kick in the head to see it more clearly.