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Pictures with SM

BMnotallowed's picture

Submitted by BMnotallowed on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:17am

This weekend My H was in the picture taking mood. He took pictures of the kids, the kids and I ,the kids and him and pictures of us together. We got these coasters that you can put pictures in and he took pictures of us and the kids making holloween cupcakes and put them in the coasters. He gave his kids copies of the pictures. One of his youngest daughters wanted a pitcures of us making cupcakes and one wanted a picture of her doing my makeup so DH gave them copies. I didn't think anything of it until DH told me they called him crying saying BM made then throw away the pictures with me in them and the cupcakes we made and make new ones with her. Was it a foul on our part to let them keep the pictures of me or a foul on BM for petty jealousy?

Comments

QueenBeau's picture

Submitted by QueenBeau on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:23am

I think it was foul on BM's part.

DH let SD6, then 5 keep a pic of me, him & her that we got taken. Just a normal family portrait, she asked to keep it. BM was faking like she liked me so much but she saw that pic & called DH saying that he only gave that to SD to make her (BM) feel bad. Of course, everything is about you BM. -sigh-

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:41am

I don't know... how many times have step mothers blogged on this site about BM sending pics to dad's house with her in them. SM is offended, does not want BM's ugly mug in her home, etc etc.

I should think the same would go for BM not wanting pics of SM in her home. I think it would have been fine to give the skids pictures, BUT they should have been kept at your home.

with that said, BM handled it all wrong, the ADULT thing to do would have been to call/text whatever and ask that pictures of SM not be sent home with skids in the future, rather than dragging skids into it.

msg1986's picture

Submitted by msg1986 on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:45am

I have to say I agree w/ Daizy. Why not let the kids keep the pics at your house in their rooms? I know I sure as heck wouldn't want Ss bringing a picture of his mom to my home. Granted Bm shouldn't have reacted the way she did but why even let it get to the point of letting the pictures leave your home in the first place?

QueenBeau's picture

Submitted by QueenBeau on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:48am

I can understand how BM feels but addressing it with OP's DH without the kids present is the way to handle it. "Hey, I'm sure you don't want pictures of me at your house - I don't want pictures of you & your DW at my house. I am going to send them back with the kids and they can put them up there".

As an adult, you have to learn to control your feelings & not let your feelings control you. That's whats wrong with so many of the BM's we talk about on this site.

BMnotallowed's picture

Submitted by BMnotallowed on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:53am

I didn't think I was commiting a fedaral affense by letting them keep a picture. throw me in SM prison. If the came here with pictures of BM my H and I wouldn't lose our minds I would just say " Oh that's nice you look pretty in that picture". If they wanted to have a framed picture of her in there rooms I wouldn't bat an eye. IMO its not that serious.

realitycheckmom's picture

Submitted by realitycheckmom on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 10:01am

Many SMs here have destroyed pics of BM that were brought to their house or tossed them out the minute the skid was not looking. Not everyone is like you and your gesture could be misinterpreted as a slam to BM. BM should have not handled it like that in front of the kids but it is not surprising. How would you feel if your ex sent pics home with your kids of him and his new wife?

msg1986's picture

Submitted by msg1986 on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 10:06am

yikes, why so defensive? No one is saying you commited a federal offsense. You're asking for opinions and that's what is being given. From the way you describe the way Bm reacted it would seem she's high conflict so why even send pics of you to her home? Ss HAS brought photos of his mom to my home and although it bothered me I didn't say anything, I didn't even mention it to Dh. It was in his backpack and he took it home when he left, I figured it was her way of trying to mark a territory or something but honestly there is no territory to mark and I'm sure she was bothered that Dh didn't call/text her to fight about it...but that's because she loves drama. All I'm sayin' is if the Bm you deal with a crazy lady why give her a reason to melt down? I guess being in steplife has taught me to really think before I move in order to avoid any problems.

ps. you're definately right, it's not that serious but again, Bm is a cray, so why not try to avoid the drams, ya know? Smile

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:48am

Why would you want pics of you in BMs house? Why not let them keep the pics in their room at your house? That is a big No/No in my opinion. Think about it. Would you like pics of BM and the Skids on your coffee table as coasters? I think not.

BMnotallowed's picture

Submitted by BMnotallowed on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:52am

we didn't give them a coaster my H just gave them little cut outs he printed. Its not like we gave them something to fram or hang just little pitcures they could put in their coin purses.

Luna HG's picture

Submitted by Luna HG on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:55am

My stepmom does that all the time with my and my half sisters. There are no pictures of me in their house at all even in my dads office. I cannot take pictures with my sisters for me to keep even though they ask me to take pics with them all they time and we have to sneak them and make sure she doesn't find out. I would say the picture is for the kids let them keep it just don't put them in the house just have them keep it in their room or something that is just for them.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 9:59am

It was a foul move on both ends. Unless you get along with BM, sending those pictures can be seen as a passive agressive move.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 10:56am

I think she should've handled it better. I can see how it'd be frustrating for her, but an op had the good idea of her addressing it with the kids' dad when the kids aren't around.