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Alot of kids are shit heads.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 10:31pm

It's not always just Skids that are shit heads. Sometimes it's bio kids to. And is it from a lack of parenting? Not ALWAYS.

My son will do all of the following in a freaking heart beat:

Lie.

Fail school.

Has 7, yes 7, girlfriends (currently).

Eat like a freaking pig, leaving food all over the floor and counter top where he ate (he's not allowed to eat anywhere but the kitchen bar)

Piss all over the damn bathroom like he has no control over where it goes.

Wack off in the shower and leave the shit there for me to find.

Wipe his bung hole and throw the damn paper in the trash can instead of the commode.

Eat a TON of food if there is not enough to go around, and only a little if there is more than enough.

Bad mouth my SD, even when she's not been around for more than a week and hasn't done shit to him.

Worship the parent that is never around for him, and degrade the one that would walk on fire for him.

The list goes on and on my friends.

This is my son. My BIO kid. He's far far far worse than my Skids.

And you may think, well hell, BMJen doesn't discipline. WRONG - O. I've be the only person to do so his whole life. I've always been hot on his tail about things. He hasn't gotten away with anything. I seriously, and honest to God, bitch at him every single day of his life. I took everything out of his room not to long ago.........EVERYTHING. Even his cloths and shoes. I went to goodwill and bought him cloths to replace the ones that I took, and yes I took him with. I took all his toys, games, etc. I even took his pics. The only thing he had in his room was a matress and a sheet. He had to earn his pillow and comforter back, along with everything else. You know what else he's earned back? Nothing. Seriously. Nothing!!!!!!!!! He just doesn't give a shit.

I've even went as far as to have my law enforcement husband take him to jail, book him in, fingerprint him, make him dress in a felon jumpsuit, eat the jail food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And I came and got him that night at 9.

I've fought tooth and nail to get sense into this kid. His whole life.

Where does he get it from? His dad. He's a liar and a cheat and teaches our son to be the same. It looks like that once a year visit wouldn't sink in that much right? NOPE. It does. A wicked evil parent will corrupt the kid to the point of no return.

My son has a heart. I see it, most don't but I do. It IS a heart of gold. I know he'd die for me just as soon as I would for him. That he gets from his mommy.

Somewhere in there I have to just hold on to that and realize that maybe one day he'll look at this all and know I was the one in the pits fighting every single day for him.........no one else, just me.

So trust me people.......not only skids turn out bad. And beyond that, it's not always the mom's fault. Some of us do try.

Comments

Silver's picture

Submitted by Silver on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 11:11pm

Have faith Jen. I know that you are doing your best and that you are an amazing mother. Teenage boys are just a pain in the butt. My brother was pretty rough and is just now growing out of it (at almost 25). He's been a late rider though on the maturity train.

I think that your son will know when he is older that you did everything you could. That he is lucky to have a mother like you. If you can just get through these obnoxious years you'll get to that light at the end of the tunnel.

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 6:52am

Jen,

Though no where near what you have to deal with ......... my 17yo Son (SS) has similar issues with Cranio-Rectitis and spends much of his time sniffing his colon. He will spend more time trying to prove his mother and I wrong about some minor point of fact then he will actually doing the thing he is supposed to be doing.

eg....

Wife: "Kid, please pull the pan off of the stove I have run upstairs".... wife was preheating a pan as she prepared a meal.

Kid: ...... rolls his eyes, and slowly makes his way to the stove where he pulls the pan off of the burner leaving flames shooting 6inches in the air, the saunters back to what he was doing ......

Rags: "KID!!!!! look at the stove and tell me what is wrong with this picture"

Kid: "Whaaaaat????? I did what Mom asked me to do, I took the pan off of the burner"

Rags: "And you think it is Okay to leave flames shooting up six inches in the air?"

Kid: "Daaaaaaaaad! I DID WHAT I WAS TOLD ...... why do you always make me do things over????"

Rags: "Because you knew that taking the pan off of the burner and leaving open flames blasting in our kitchen was not a good idea. If you didn't you should have so GET UP AND TURN OFF THE DAMNED STOVE!!!!!!!!"

There are countless examples of this kind of crap with the kid. Nothing criminal or overly disgusting other than a penchant for not doing laundry and being a snarky PITA.

I think it is a guy thing. I also had my version of this syndrom.

Keep up the tough love. Eventually he will get it.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:07am

Oh yeah, that conversation is EXACTALY what my son would have done to. Ugh......boys are so hard sometimes. I often why I don't have one of those boys that worships the ground his momma walks on. You see those boys, they are out there. I think those boys only come out of a "necular" family. Excluding Perfectson that is. Wink

onehappygirl's picture

Submitted by onehappygirl on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 7:02am

You and I both know that we are going through the same damn thing. Arrrgggg!! My Spongebob must be your son's twin. Every single thing on your list my own son does too. He is my greatest treasure and my greatest challenge. I would lay down my life for him. I will give up my dreams for him. But the kid is unstoppable. Nothing we do, nothing we say matters. He just doesn't care. The worst of both his father and me shines through right now. He's a smart ass (me), he won't shut up (me), he's stubborn (me), he's full of pride (his father), he's a charmer but doesn't actually care about the person he is charming (his father). Some kids threw eggs at our house last week. Spongebob knows who they are. Instead of getting upset that someone would insult his house and his family, he just shrugged and said "it's not my house." Now, I understand he doesn't want to get involved in a neighborhood war with the local idiots, but it still hurt Truelight's feelings that he cared so little about our family and our home. Like you, I know he's a good kid. He has a sense of humor and a quick wit that just can't be beat, but he uses it to be cruel right now. I hate to say this about my own son, but I really hope that one day some kid or some girl out there will put him in his place. Give him a little bit of what he gives out so he knows how crushing it feels.

I want to protect him, but now, I'm letting him feel the consequences of his actions. Because of his bad grades, I threatened to hold him back a year. He's in 9th grade, so it's a big deal. I think that finally got through to him, at least for a little while.

I didn't mean to hijack your blog, my friend. I just want to say that I completely understand what you are going through. You and I can support each other here, because I certainly need a good friend who completely understands my dislike, my challenge and my complete and total love for this kid.

______________________________________

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

truelightbeing's picture

Submitted by truelightbeing on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 7:21am

He doesnt do "everything" like above but have to add breaking things of everyones and never saying sorry. I cant understand how someone can be so uncaring and unthoughtful of other peoples things. And the egging thing he went from after being told about it "I will kick their ass" to "its not my house" a day later.

"Love is harmony and harmony is the vibration of the music that binds the universe."

truelightbeing's picture

Submitted by truelightbeing on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 7:54am

Ok,maybe he does more than I thought. My lady just told me. Sorry, LOL.

"Love is harmony and harmony is the vibration of the music that binds the universe."

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:17am

I don't understand that either. But MY son will actually break his own shit and not care, just expect me to replace it. He hardly has anything left because I refuse to replace.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:09am

Girl you didn't hijack. It's always nice to know that I'm not alone. We both work so hard with our boys and this is what we get. It's so tiring. I get so tired of yelling at him, grounding him, etc. Some days DH and I make a pact to not yell at him, we actually have to do this. And it's hard because he does stupid shit so often that he has to be yelled at about it! LOL!

I sometimes secretly wish the same for my son, one day he's going to come across someone that won't put up with his smart mouth and he's going to come home with a black eye. And I'm gonna laugh. Wink

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:12am

He remembers the cutting off of the hoddie also! LOL! Extreme kids call for extreme measures.

I don't know what's going on in his head SA. I have got him back on his medicine, as of yesterday. It was a long process getting his insurance straight, we had to put him on DH's because the x dropped him, though he's required to carry him. I don't know what I can do about that other than keep fussing..........I'm not going to hire a attorney for that, DH's insurance is better anyway.

But the doc put him on some diff meds and is having "talking" sessions with him once every other week. So I'm hoping to get in that brain and see what's up.

unhappy2happy's picture

Submitted by unhappy2happy on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 8:17am

BMJen, Boy,girls,Step, Bio, they can all be a pain in the butt, You are an amazing mom, it will someday get threw your sons head.. My Bio is 34 and I went threw worst things with him, then I ever did my SS.. Now he tells me he loves me and I was and am a great mom... Yours will realize all that you have done for him one day believe me he will..Hold on it will get better as he grows up and matures...

Hugs

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:13am

Thanks girl. That's all I can do. I've done all I can and I just have to hold onto the thought that "one day".

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 8:36am

He'll get it Jen.... I've seen lots of boys be just that dumb about things and then one day they wake up and think oh shit, maybe I better grow up and knock that off. He will too. You're a great mama, and we all know it, one day he's going to figure it out!

You're right too, it's a kid thing, not a bio vs step thing! I love ya girl!!

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:15am

Def. Cru. Since the teenage years I've been convinced that some aliens abducted my sweet son and replaced him with a hormone raging lunatic. I hope he grows up to be like your boy. I have faith that he will. I know my role though, and I know it's going to get tougher before it gets better. But you know what, I'm up for it. I'll do anything I have to do to keep that kid in line. And I thank the Lord for DH. Because I used to look down at my son to give him "the mommy stare", now I have to look up to scold him. That's kindave freaky. DH is here to help........thank goodness!!

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:26am

LOL! I so see that happening with my boy one day. But I do know, 100 % that he will never swing at me. That's good to know being that he towers above me now! Wink

creepedout60's picture

Submitted by creepedout60 on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 10:06am

Kids are just hard in general. This generation, is soooo disfunctional! I have never seen more of a bunch of lazy young people in my life. I know each generation has differents ideas of what is cool and so forth, but YIKES! I have 3 bios and 2 skids, all grown and 4 outta 5 married. We are the bank, they have picked the money tree till it died, the skids want nothing to do with their father nor myself (31 yo SD left msg on cell to kill me) but everyone of them has their hands in our cookie jar. Is it legal to tase them? I think that sometimes no matter how good you raise skids or bios, they are gonn do and be what they want. I just wish for the Beaver Cleaver days

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:16am

LOL! Is it legal to tase them? hahahahahaha!! I don't know, but I bet my son will get a damn tasering if he ever comes at me and DH isn't here. That kid is to big anymore! LOL!

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:26am

My 14 year old is really giving me hell too....WTF I am about to lose it with him and I tried my damndest to raise him right. He is at an age I guess. My other son didn't do that shit but he had a dad in the picture. I guess that makes a big difference.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 11:31am

I think it does make a difference. Boys really do hold grudges agaist their moms for not being with their fathers. It's a different grudge than the girls hold. The girls do it on the sly, boys are typically straight up about it. Atleast that is what I've always seen.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Sat, 03/27/2010 - 2:45pm

I agree.... perfectson went through a daddy worship stage and it was alllllll my fault of course.... then thankfully he snapped back to being a mama's boy.