Have I just gotten old?
Or is my walk through step parent land just smoother than most?
DH and I were talking about some of the things that happened in the beginning of our relationship and I swear when I think about some of them I don't know him and I made it.
There was one time that he actually went to BM's house to have dinner with her and "the girls" so that way "the girls" wouldn't have to change any aspect of their life just because BM and DH were divorcing. Yeah, that actually happend......once. 
Tons and tons and tons of RIDICULOUS stuff happened. I really don't know how we made it through, what made us all three change (him me and BM), etc. I can't put my finger on it. But it happened. And it's a good thing, because like I said, if it hadn't we wouldn't have made it.
As far as my walk as a BM, there are things that I'm just never going to agree to again, or even say I do just to please someone.
1st, in my house I make the decisions regarding my son. My x and his wife #3 can cram it if they don't like it, just like they tell me about their house! 
There's many more but I just don't feel like listing it all.
I just know that I've rounded yet another corner and I like it.
What happens, what part of our lives do we honestly find that it's better to just smile? And I'm so happy that I've hit it! I'm so happy I'm at the "smile" part of my life. I just wish I could pinpoint it so maybe I could attempt to help others.
I'm sure this blog sounds like I'm a big fat head gloating beyotch. That's why I don't blog to much anymore. I don't have anything to say but wonderful stuff!
Anyways, I'm still here, and I try to read up when I get a chance!
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!! And
I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!
And you sexy thang, I LOVE the new screenname. I was ready to poke out my eyes if I had to look at that icky avatar you WERE using ...Tink is WAY better!!
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
Of course I AM your #2 Fb
Of course I AM your #2 Fb follower so I think you're shitting sparkles and glitter of course and it's fantastical!!
"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
LOL! Well atleast it's
LOL! Well atleast it's colorful and pretty right?
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
You are a Beyotch!!! And
You are a Beyotch!!! And don't you love it!!! I would someday like to follow in your footsteps!
My dh use to babysit his kids at BMs house, as to not confuse the kids and their schedule. Can you believe that shit! She actually said that the kids were getting confused as to where they were going from day to day. The freaking kids were two and five. And to top it off these are kids that were used to being carted off to daycare from 8 in the morning until 6 pm. So why not have them spend the night at their dads house and then taken to day car the next day, instead of confusing them and having daddy going to mommy's apartment and spending 3 hours over there, then leaving them at the end of the night. Makes no sense!!!! Talk about being confused!!! That is when I came along and put an end to that... imagine that, evil wife wanting time with her new husband and demanding that her stepkids come over to her house to spend time with her and her husband, and he not be treated like a babysitter. I know, how evil. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
It amazes me the crap that these BMs will come up with, and the crap that DHs will allow us to be put through!!!
Me! Me! Me! I think you're
Me! Me! Me! I think you're amazing and I'm VERY proud to know you as my friend! ST & FB both!
I'm a follower of the shitting glitter club too!
It makes life sooooooo much better!
Jen!! Long time no "see" FH
Jen!! Long time no "see"
FH and I have been through a lot as well. I barely create blogs anymore because I see so many others on here going through so much worse that it makes my issues seem trivial.
I was actually venting to a friend about some stuff that FH and I had a disagreement on and she said it seems so small because we have already been through so much and still made it. And she was right.
Hope you still check in every once a while just to let us know how your "bootcamp" technique is working with BS. Would love to take notes
One thing about being a BM I
One thing about being a BM I did want to mention.............if my son's current SM, or any other that he'll get along the road, ever decide to give him an ass whoping.................cop for a husband or not I'll beat her ass.
Does that make me white trash, psycho BM, crazy, ridiculous, etc? I don't care if it does. It is what it is.
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
Jen, a hypothetical for
Jen, a hypothetical for you:
And I'm not implying anything or challenging you, I just want to know (because I would never DREAM of punishing either of my SDs physically):
What if your son did something to his stepmom -- directly TO her -- that was something that you, if he did it to you, would whup his ass for? I ask this because, in my view, I don't ever punish my SDs unless they do something directly TO me and no one else. For example, if my SD borrows my car and uses it for a purpose I told her she couldn't use it for, it's my prerogative to punish her for that.
So, if your son commits an offense that you consider worthy of an ass-whupping, TO his SM, would you say she has the right to do so?
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
No Bell, I wouldn't. I
No Bell, I wouldn't. I believe my son to be far past the butt whipping stage! He's really been past it for some time. DH and I disagree on this BTW, but oh well, we just agree to disagree!
Even back in the spanking days I did not want SM or SF to spank him. I've always felt that is a job for the bio's. Unless.......here's the but.......you have adopted the child, you are the only parent that child has ever known, etc. Other than that, I don't believe it to be a SP's right to spank a child. Punish, but not spank.
And I would go pretty nuts if anyone ever did hit my child.
Then again, the SM's he had to deal with were as crazy as most of the BM's we all deal with! So......that says it. If she was a sane woman things would have been much different.
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
Interesting. Yeah, I know
Interesting. Yeah, I know your son is beyond that -- though I would guess you could smack his a** red if you put your mind to it!
I can't imagine a situation in which I'd feel justified spanking my SDs, even if they were still of the age to do so. I agree with you, if I had been the only mom they'd known, it would be different. In my opinion, it takes a very calm person bioparent or otherwise, to be able to spank "appropriately": that is, in a way that it is simply punishment, not revenge. When I've seen people spank in anger, I know they're doing it mainly because it feels good, not to teach a lesson. And if you're whacking your kid because it feels good, then you're on a pretty damn slippery slope.
My parents both believed in spanking -- so do I. But whereas my dad always waited until he was calm to do it, my mom would haul off and smack me out of anger when I did something wrong. Even back then, I sensed there was a difference -- and my dad's spankings taught me more. Not only because by waiting, he gave me time to get good and scared,
but also because it gave me time to think about why he was doing it -- and it made me clear that I was being punished because I was wrong, not because Dad was mad.
I can see that as a BM, there's almost no way one could have confidence that a SM was spanking in the right way and for the right reason. If my SDs were young, and I spanked them, my DH would give me the authority to do so, and trust my rationale. But BM would not at all -- she would go completely ballistic. And who could blame her, after all? She barely knows me. Even if she didn't hate me, she doesn't have enough to go on to trust me in that way at all.
Anyway. Interesting discussion -- thanks for responding!
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved