Soooo my BM is bi-polar, borderline, manic depressive, and has split personality tendacies. She was a single mom with the woe is me BF never pays CS. I didn't see my BF from 2yrs old to 16. At 16 I found him. After hearing horrible stories my whole life, my BM spent the night with him the day I found him. She has always found away to take or copy anything that should have been "my" day. High school graduation (my bro got his GED, I graduated with a 4.0) rather then be there for me, she shows up late with this story of a flat tire..(spare not on her car and same tire ).
My dad passed away 6 yrs ago. When he died I was left taking care of everything. Cleaning out his place, I found the CS receipts, the letters, the court paperwork where he tried to see us. My relationship with dad was strong, BM not so much. I confronted her, and she continued to lie. I never no matter what our relationship was dead. Not that there was much, but she had raised us to feel responsible for her. Thankfully I have had much counseling and don't feel that as strong anymore and can draw a line.
I tried to give my kids a GBM. But my mom is crazy, she has spanked my daughter in anger, twisted her arm for wanting to hug her while playing in the hose ( I was outside with my kids, she came out to "watch" and got mad at DD) there is a lot of bad history and I don't want this post to be a book
My brother willfully has denied the evidence found when dad died and told me he has to believe our mom didn't do that or he will be haunted by the fact he never had a relationship with dad due to BMs lies. And dad is gone. No do over.
The issue, the last 2 years bro has asked me to include BM in holidays. I use to just to have holidays with bro, and my newphew. Plus it gave my bios the family holidays I loved as a kid.
I'm not doing it anymore. Last time, my car broke down, it was in the shop. I asked BM to stay until my car was fixed so I could use her car to get bios to and from school. I was very straight forward about why I was asking her to stay. She stayed a week past my car being fixed and wouldn't leave. When she finally did she emailed me this long book about how she feels I used her blah blah blah. I responded with I was very blunt about why I asked her to stay. She agreed. Sorry, not falling for the guilt.
This Thanksgiving was making plans with bro and SIL. And bro asks about BM. I never responded. Now, he is not coming up, and wants us to go to him. Not a huge deal, but my place has room for us all and my animals (retiles, birds, cats, bunny, chickens, dogs) can't travel like his 2 small dogs, and I have a kitchen 4 times the size of his with a double oven. I know he has BM coming to his place so she isn't alone, but I don't want to spend my holidays with her.
Soooo I'm just venting and upset. My kids, husband and myself lose out on spending time with bro, SIL, and newphew who we all like just because BM will be alone and bro feels bad. Dude, don't you get that she only has you because she has burned every other bridge down?!?!!? Even my kids will tell you, Grandma is crazy and she isn't nice to you, so we don't like her.