It goes both ways
SD21 sent me a message the other day, starting out talking about not much of anything. She never does that, I knew she was warming up to her real reason for messaging. She said she's sad because her dad "has a daughter that he just forgets about", that she has a son and another baby on the way that he never sees.
He works 3rd shift and we do not live that close to her. He has 2 young kids at home. I told her we don't even get to spend much time with him (job).
I think she expected me to talk to him, tell him how she feels, get him to call her and arrange a visit. I'm not doing that. She is an adult, if she wants to see him, she can pick up the phone and call him herself, it is not my job to foster a relationship between them. Furthermore, she does nothing on her end, either. She wants to cry victim because her dad doesn't see her, but the phone never rings. She never asks to come over, never invites him to her place, nothing. As has always been the case, she wants this grand relationship, but she wants the other person to do all the work. It's ok that she never calls him or tries to see him, it's NOT ok that he never calls or tries to see her. She's complaining that he never sees her kid, yet she has 2 little brothers that she never asks to see. I'm not sure what the difference is.
She posted on fb shortly after that a post about her mom (whom she never says anything good about to me or anyone else) about how she's such a great grandma and thanking her for seeing the kid regularly. I think that was a passive aggressive dig at her dad, which is stupid because he doesn't have fb. Maybe I was supposed to see it and be inspired to push him to see the kid so he can get kudos on fb, too? I don't know. I did nothing, because quite honestly, I just don't care.
I unfollowed her and her dh on fb because the non stop belly pictures are just too annoying. I had unfollowed her before, but started following again because I felt like if I didn't, I was going to miss something that it would be better for me to know before seeing her in person, and I was right. She got pregnant right after I started following her again. Had I not known that, she would have been questioning why I didn't know when it's all she ever talks about on fb. I'll go right to her page in a couple of weeks when she announces gender, and beyond that, I won't check anything until she has the kid. Seriously, who the hell takes 50 million belly pictures just because they're pregnant? Not even exaggerating, she posts one just about every day, because she is to be awed, for she created life....twice. :sick:
Comments
^^^^^exactly. she much
^^^^^exactly. she much prefers playing the Poor ME card and acting like a wittle victim rather than take charge and do something about what is bothering her. She wants me to do it, apparently. Just like she wanted me to tell him when she was pregnant the first time. Not happening. I will not make time to handle her business for her. If it's not important enough for her to do herself, then it's not important at all.
Things are good around here
Things are good around here for the most part. Busy with the kids. Don't have a lot to bitch about these days since I'm no longer being stalked while I work, etc.
(SO was on me for quite a while to quit my job and stay home, and after 3 months, I did it). I hardly ever see sd, so things are mostly quiet other than the aggravation of her making sure the whole wide world remembers every day that she is pregnant, and here is the belly to prove it.
She has always went to the opposite person of the one she has an issue with. If she has a problem with me, she goes to him. She has a problem with him, she comes to me. Stupid. She wants to fight, argue, cry, whatever, but she wants someone else to do it for her.
congrats on the new baby to
congrats on the new baby to be!
OMG is your SD channeling
OMG is your SD channeling mine??
She wants to cry victim because her dad doesn't see her, but the phone never rings. She never asks to come over, never invites him to her place, nothing. As has always been the case, she wants this grand relationship, but she wants the other person to do all the work.
Sounds EXACTLY like SD15!! She closed the door on him when she beer bonged the PAS yet was whining on Father's Day that it was a "tough day for her" playing up the VICTIM role to the hilt-- ye olde "daddykins left mommykins and the kiddies" :barf:
She posted on fb shortly after that a post about her mom (whom she never says anything good about to me or anyone else) about how she's such a great grandma and thanking her for seeing the kid regularly. I think that was a passive aggressive dig at her dad, which is stupid because he doesn't have fb.
Same thing here! SD really can't stand her mother, yet posts glowing platitudes about the BM--how she's her BFF and "roll" (sic) model. Chef doesn't have a real FB account (only a fake one he made out of spite when he thought *I* was talking about him behind his back on my account)
There's no way I'm going to tell Chef about all the stupid things the BM and teen skiddies are doing. Chef believes in shooting the messenger.
ugh. I hate that there is
ugh. I hate that there is more than one of her. why do you call dh "chef"?
I love you, cornflakes!
I love you, cornflakes!
My SD is upset that DH and I
My SD is upset that DH and I are not more "grandparenty". I have no interest at all in her kids and prefer not to be called Grandma at all. Part of DH would like to be involved with his grandkids but he does not trust SD so just does not want to go down that road.
He plays with them when she does visit but she rarely comes over. The last time was to get Christmas gifts.
And we mostly sat around and stared at each other for 2 hours because she has no personality and nothing to say.
SD lives with BM so we are certainly not rushing out the door to go visit her.
I guess she is finding out what happens when you treat someone like crap, lie, and try to manipulate them. I guess we are supposed to fall all over ourselves because she popped out a couple of kids. Nope, not happening.
I think sd expects me to be
I think sd expects me to be head over heels for her kid, too. I'm not. I don't have anything against him, he's just a little boy. but I don't have any feelings for him. I've held him, talked to him, but he doesnt' melt my heart. oh well. I'm NOT his grandmother, I'm not anyone's grandmother and that's just the way it is. she shouldn't expect more out of me than she is willing to give of herself. she doesn't treat dd19 like a sister, she doesnt' acknowledge me on my bday or mother's day, so why are we expected to play "family" with her and her kid?
She sounds extremely immature
She sounds extremely immature to me. Yuck! And I am so so so so over belly pics! I do not care that anyone had sex and one of the sperm won the race, I believe you when you tell me ya got knocked up, I do not need the proof! I get why people do it, I am a mom too. But keep that in an album for you and your spouse. It is so annoying and over done thanks to social media. And I am sure you are right it was passive agressive bs that she posted about her mom is soooooo great! Blech!
I hear you! I get why people
I hear you! I get why people do it, too. I don't get why anyone would need so many of them, as if you change so much in one week, but whatever. I have one for each of my kids that I took at the end of my pregnancy. I don't think any of them would have much use for an album full of pictures of my belly.
Yes, social media makes it so easy for narcissists to gratify themselves, and for people who might otherwise be fairly normal to become narcissists. I've wondered at times if there is something wrong with me because I don't share EVERYTHING, but I've decided that I am fine and some things are just meant to be private and shared between close family, not with the whole world. I have pictures of DS6 so newly born that he was still covered in blood and between my legs. Those pictures are in a scrapbook. I have never shared them on fb. She would though. She would probably expect to be told what great legs she has, too!
Oh lawd! My 25 SD is the SAME
Oh lawd! My 25 SD is the SAME way, crying daddy don't come to see her, as if she can't get off her ass to come see him!
Call me crazy, but in my day (and I'm only 14 years older than SK) kids showed their elders respect and sought out parents after adulthood.
Its like she doesn't want to grow up, rather be the perpetually doted upon kid no matter how it exhausts her father. And she whines about it on FB too! I unfriended her due to it... I unfriended ALL his kids, I only interact with the ones who come in my home when they are actually in it, otherwise I'm fully disengaged!
*newsflash* when you make your own kids you are supposed to be mature enough to understand you are responsible for relationship building and grand daddy is getting too old to still chase you down and make sure all your needs are met as if you were a toddler...