Sometimes you have to let it go. You surrender your anger, fears, frustrations to God. You sit there and say "God, take this. I cannot deal with it. Make it work the way YOU want it to work. I am tired, I am angry. I feel like my children and myself are always missing out due to the selfish actions of others. Please take the burden from me and show my Your Will."

I have done this quite a few times when I have felt the despair and evil settling in my heart because I don't want to be that person. I give it up to God. I sit back and be quiet. Gather your children and take them out to a park and let them play while you just wait. Sometimes the message isn't what we want to hear. Sometimes you think the timing is appalling. But God will let you know what HE wants you to do. The problem may be this frustration and anger stems from you not being in the place God wants you to be. I am sure He is fighting with the BMs and their lives are constantly in turmoil because they are not listening.

It takes a few days and letting go is incredibly hard especially when you are the strong one in your family. But tell DH that from now on he is responsible for his decisions and you are taking your guidance from God. You will learn to tell the difference between God and your own will.

I tried to do all of this on MY own. I took on way too many burdens and tried to fix everything by myself. What happened was...I was spent up. I gave all my energy and hit a rock bottom. I truly believe we are put in situations and that if we try to do everything on our own without relying on God, we are bound to fail. That's what faith is. That is what prayer is. And, after years of doing life on my own, I fell hard. Now, I rely on God. I give this situation to him and have given my anxiety, fear, and frustrations away. Slowly but surely, I am filling my life with scripture, prayer, thankfulness, humbleness, and going to church for enlightenment.

I have given up doing things my way.

This isn't "cooky" stuff. It is real and it allows you to let go. What point is our faith if we don't have to rely on God? If you are a believer as I am, we HAVE to give it to God. He WANTS to carry our load FOR us. Spend some time in prayer. Look up inspirational biblical quotes instead of negativity. Fill your life with good.

Also, as much as I LOVE this website and I lurk here and it is SO helpful...sometimes I have to get away. It can cloud my judgement. Too much of anything can be a bad thing. (Facebook as well).

Remember...you are a CHRISTIAN. Give it all up to the God you serve. He will not fail you and He will take care of this for you. But, it's up to you to give it up and GIVE HIM BACK THE CONTROL.

There is nothing in the Bible specifically about taking on someone's children, and I too have struggle with being a SM. I read something one time about how it is unnatural to care for someone else's children and it pointed out that Sarah sent Hagar and Ishmael away. This, although not specifically like our situation, provided me some peace of mind. It is not natural to care for another woman's child and Sarah must have struggled with the same feelings that we have. For some reason, I am ok with this analogy and feel that I'm not alone. It is normal to struggle as Sarah did, although we don't send our skids away.

God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

Very sorry to hear about your struggles. Mine are similar in some ways. In my situation, my wife refused to discipline her daughter and didn't support my efforts to do so. So unfortunately, I became very angry and stayed angry for years. Now my marriage is about over, and I almost welcome the relief. My SD is the queen bee /golden child and I don't have a relationship with her and to be honest, I don't even want one. I'm tired of being the scapegoat and solely to blame for everything. No one cares about my pain over the years. Even church counselor minimizes or dismisses my hurts. Unless God does something more dramatic than I've ever experienced or seen, the only way I see for resolution is for us to split. SD is 18 and going off to college, but I think the damage is done.