Meeting BM for the first time tomorrow any advice?!
Ok, i have managed to avoid BM for 2 years! after alot of hiding haha, but now is finally the time where i have to meet this awful lady face to face and communicate with her.. so far we have kept out of eachothers way and FDH does the pick ups and drop off and all communication with her, and that is the way that it will remain.
i have not been invited to any family events ie birthday dinners, even though her new boyfriends get to attend, and in the last few weeks she has said some nasty stuff about me in emails (which is laughable its so untrue)
so this weekend we are having a bowling party for SS 11, and she has decided she wants to attend the party...since they take turns every 2nd year paying and hosting the kids party it is our turn.
just wondering if you all had advice for me? i want to kill her with kindness and look like the bigger person, this lady is always going to be in my life and i dont want to meet her and get off on the wrong foot.
how do you think i should act?
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Try to act completely normal
Try to act completely normal and natural, like this is no big deal to you at all and you're not stressed out about it.
Don't have ANY expectations. Make the focus on SS...don't take over leadership but don't sit back like a wallflower either. Just try to make it seem like it's totally normal for all of you to be in the same place. My guess is that your FDH is just as nervous and will probably be more awkward than the two of you.
Well, from my experience, I
Well, from my experience, I keep my distance as much as possible but don't let it interfere with what I would/wouldn't do if she wasn't there, and kill with kindness to the extent I am polite and don't do anything that could give her reason to be difficult or nasty but I don't go out of my way to chitchat or be nice. Distance has been the key for me.
Shake her hand. Look her in
Shake her hand. Look her in the eye Smile and introduce yoursefl. Walk into it with positive energy. And try to have fun
yeah i think that needs to be
yeah i think that needs to be the plan, be positive and smile!! i think she will totally ignore me anyway but still ill have a big smile!
My advice: make sure you look
My advice: make sure you look HOT!, keep a big smile on your face, and pretend that BM isn't there. Don't let her annoy you. Don't let her engage you in any drama. Just have a good time.
Good luck. I hope it goes well.
hahah i took the day off work
hahah i took the day off work yesterday to go shopping for a "Sexy but casual outfit!" new shoes and all!
Make sure the hair, nails and
Make sure the hair, nails and toes are perfect but look completely natural as if you have not tried at all - do you know what she looks like and if you are prettier don't worry!!
thats the plan, spend 5 hours
thats the plan, spend 5 hours looks like i just rolled out of bed!
i have seen photos of her... look i think she is really pretty.. but im half her age and half her size, so i win!... she is pretty but looks like a really hard/cold lady. she is a architect... so that sort of attitude im better then you
Oh ugly on the inside that
Oh ugly on the inside that comes out on the outside that is my BM - she is pretty but I know the real her.
yeah excatly... well him and
yeah excatly... well him and i work together.. and EVERY single person at our work place who had to meet her was SCARED of her... all the work girls have been telling me since we got together how they were so scared of her and at work functions she was just so rude and nasty to people! so she is pretty but her attitude makes her a very ugly person!
i will be repeating this to
i will be repeating this to myself the WHOLE party tomorrow! i am going to be the mature adult and if she wants to be the nasty one then everyone will see that.. my plan is to be nice but as you said its there sons birthday and its not my place to step in and try and control the situation... so i have have a big smile and just try and be a adult!! and then go to the bathroom and call my best girlfriend and have a whinge if things get to tough!!!
Be really, really HOT!!!! Do
Be really, really HOT!!!! Do it up. Look your best. Be absolutely happy and supportive of DH and the SKid.
Manipulative moron BMs/BioDads are like cockroaches. When you turn on the light in a dark room the roaches run for the nearest dark corner. BMs/BioDads do the same when you blind them with your radiant happiness.
If she is laid back and relaxed, things will go well and you may be able to connect. If she is being toxic, she will not deal well with seeing her X happy with you and you happy with him.
Either way being happy and confident is your best bet IMHO.
And most importantly ..... enjoy her squirming in the light of your radiant happiness. }:)
Best regards,
The first meeting is and
The first meeting is and always be that ackward. Just listen to all this great advice from these awesome SM's. I wish I would have had some of this when I had to throw the first birthday party for my 2 SD's. Just know that u r the bigger person for being able to do this. Because u did say that u do not get to go when she throws the party.Don't put much effort in to the BM this is all about ur SS and his friends just try to be a good host and make sure every1 has a drink and r having fun.
P.S. just a little trick I have done when BM does come I buy my SD's what they really wanted and they asked for and make sure that u give it to him last....