You are here

Great news (for the most part)

BaseballMom42's picture

So, guess what...SS15 is going back to live with his mother two states away today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy. My life can get back to normal again. If you read my previous blogs I was trying to get DH to come up with a plan if he wanted SS15 to live with us to make it work. He obviously couldn't come up with anything and talked with BM and decided that it would be best for SS15 to go back and live with BM since she can be home to supervise him and there he has his own room and own space, etc. But I made sure to tell DH, make sure this is what YOU want, because I am not going to be blamed for this the rest of our lives and have you resent me for it (because he kept saying I got what I wanted and he didn't want him to go back). So I said if you want him to stay let us sit down and work out the finances, maybe go to family counseling or something, because I will not have the blame for this fall on my shoulders. I rather try and work something out then have this ruin our marriage, I told him I was always willing to compromise if he would show me a plan. But he still said no I think it is best he goes back, I won't blame you.

Anyway, that is the good news...he is going back today, and ILs are taking him back for some reason. But ILs are all blaming me for him going back. That haven't said anything to my face yet, but DH told me they have been talking behind my back. SIL (who is not even DH's sister but DH's brother's wife), is a BITCH, and already posted some passive aggresive things geared toward me on FB.

Then I guess DH told ILs that one of the reasons SS is going back is because he can't financially support him right now since he is in school (I said in other blogs how BM wouldn't let him have any clothes from her house so bascially DH would have to buy him a whole new wardrobe and BM said she wouldn't give DH child support and how I already pay all the bills in the home). Anyway ILs think I should be financially supporting SS15 too!!! I am pissed. They had the audacity to say to DH that I go on all these vacations but we can't financilly support SS. I am sorry but SS15 is NOT my financial responsibility. That is between DH and BM. I NEVER asked DH once for ANYTHING financially for my son. I buy my son everything he needs, clothes, school supplies, sports registrations, food, trips, etc. This all comes from MY money I work hard to earn and the CS I get from my ex. DH has never had to give me a dime to support my own son, so why should I have to support his? What I do with MY MONEY is NO ONE else's business. I am so pissed right now!!!

Comments

DeeDeeTX's picture

Why does your husband allow his parents and sister to be so toxic to you? Does he have no balls? Does he secretly agree with them?

I'm mad at your DH for you for not standing up to them and putting them in their place!

BaseballMom42's picture

That is what I kept saying to DH...did you stick up for me? He just kept telling me it will all blow over soon, but no I am sorry DH, but you really need to say something. I am your WIFE!

I really don't know why he allows them to be so toxic, like I said one of them is her SIL, not even his own sister, so she of all people really needs to butt her fat ass out. She even gave us crap about going on a honeymoon, thinking we should not be spending money on it. Again, how is this any of her business???? It just makes me so mad, I just wish he would say something.

starfish's picture

i certainly hope he sticks with this:

"I think it is best he goes back, I won't blame you."

but my hopes aren't high!

and i can so relate to the il's thinking you should support ss instead of go on vacations and spend YOUR money on YOU. been there. but fuck them, your money, your life, ss not your kid, not your problem, not your repsonsibility ~ especially in the finance dept!

BaseballMom42's picture

Yeah, my hopes aren't high either. It sucks.

And that is how I feel regarding the money, it is no one's business but my own. SS is DH and BM financial responsibility, not mine, I have my own son to worry about. And this past weekend I was away with DS10 because his travel baseball team had an away tournament out of town. We had a BLAST...stayed in hotel for 2 days with indoor pool, hot tub, patio with fire pit all the parents gathered around and drank, etc. I posted pictures on facebook of course of hotel and dinner and of course the baseball tournament and I am sure SIL didn't like that one bit. And Wednesday I leave for Canada to go to my Aunt's lake house. Oh well, I can't help it if have a life, and she just sits on her fat ass all day while her husband supports her and they have no money to do anything. I work hard and play hard

sterlingsilver's picture

Well you are blessed bm wants to take ss back and that he wants to go back and that you covered your butt by putting it all into dh's court!

SWEET!

I would LOVE for ss15 to go back to bm. we vacationed this weekend. Stayed in a hotel on a lake and he smelled up the room with his farts and bo. he didn't shower and when i asked dh to have him shower before the drive home dh objected and it all turned into me being the bitch Sad Rotten ride home for 4 hours in the car Sad My boys had to sit with him in the back seat and they showered.

BaseballMom42's picture

I am really happy SS15 is going home, he only caused problems in our relationship.

But sorry about your trip and smelly SS! I feel so bad for your kids having to sit next him!

DeeDeeTX's picture

Wow some of that sounds familiar. My husband claims a lot of things too, like he is a great father. Don't get me wrong, he's not a hideous horrible father, but he doesn't spend much time with the kids. I'm not sure why exactly, my guess is something to do with laziness, but again to hear him talk he's father of the year.

It's just so weird living with someone who has a deluded version of what they are, and expects you to buy into it. Howdo you do it? I am struggling with this myself as it gets so exhausting sometimes. It also makes me doubt him and his judgements since he sees the world in a completely different light.