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Rock a bye baby

BaaBaaBlackSheep's picture

My partner (fiancé) whom I have been with for 4 years has a daughter who is 9 & is turning 10 in the next couple of months. The issue I'm having now is that lately she has been having these anxiety attacks when SD is away from her mom not when she is in school but if she is staying away maybe for a weekend & in the house. SD & my partner spend a lot of time together & I mean a lot of time to the point that all she knows is her mom. In the beginning of our relationship we've had some struggles as you can probably imagine. At this point we still have some issues. At this age I had at least one BFF & others friends I would play with all the time. She really doesn't know how to be sociable. The anxiety comes into play when we out on a date she will call multiple times to ask where are we, what are we doing, who are we with etc... We can't really enjoy our date because my partner will answer all the time & answer every question that she ask. We could all be in the house & she would know that we there but will have to continuously come in our room to check or call our name to make sure we are there more so her mom.

Well the real issue came about because I suggested that SD go to camp again this summer to be around other children. To have a life outside her mom. My partner says she doesn't want to go & that she will plan the summer to do something for them to do every day to keep SD busy. I don't think that was a good idea especially being the fact that lately she has been more consistent with this anxiety thing. It's like a little child suffering from separation anxiety. SD desires a lot of attention. My partner treats her like one at times & I know she is the only child but their has to be some type of boundaries. She is getting older & this behavior is something different for me.

How do I handle this? How do help my partner cut the umbilical cord? Do I just let things be as they are & hope she will grow out of it?