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Is it ever enough with the hugs

BaaBaaBlackSheep's picture

Submitted by BaaBaaBlackSheep on Sun, 09/14/2014 - 1:39pm

My SD just turned 11 in August. Over the past 6 months, I noticed a shift in her emotional behavior. She is constantly asking for hugs, giving hugs no matter what we are doing throughout our day and she says "I love you" throughout her various activities (even watching tv). I thought that by this age most preteens don't like all the hugs & kisses because of embarrassment in front of friends or they think it's just too much because they are maturing. I don't mind giving a hug or two when I leave for work or when I arrive home from work. It bothers me at times because it be so random that she will give them to me & my fiance. Is this sudden emotional burst okay, or would it indicate some kind of insecurity?

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Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Sun, 09/14/2014 - 4:37pm

She could be lonely, sad or needs someone there constantly so that she can feel loved and matters to someone.
My cousins are Boy26, Girl16 and Boy14 and they are like this with each other. They call each other nicknames like "sweetheart" and "booboo" all the time and they are constantly hanging on one another. The hugs used to drive me insane during christmas gatherings. The three of them were like attached at the hip. I used to think it was really strange because me and my brothers NEVER acted like that. When I am saying "hi" or "bye" to my brothers we do the half-hug thing and we actually call each other "brother" or "sister" or by our real names. These kids though, they acted like they were saying farewell to a sickly person who wasn't going to be coming right back. They'e acted like this since their dad passed away. I think thats the reason they like to share their love for each other so often and unabashed.

BaaBaaBlackSheep's picture

Submitted by BaaBaaBlackSheep on Sun, 09/14/2014 - 6:43pm

So you understand where I'm coming from Maxwelll09. I have found it to be strange it's just a little too much at times. Like I was cleaning the bathroom she came in while cleaning the toilet & hugged me. Then while I was cooking she did it again. So I don't know

Biomomof2's picture

Submitted by Biomomof2 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 10:59am

I think a lot of it is insecurity. And partly just personality. My BS9 does this. And bio or skid it does get annoying. Stop doing the dishes because I want a hug, stop eatting because I want a hug. I love you I love you I love you I love you.
Yep, annoying. And it is my own bio.

hangingbyathread6's picture

Submitted by hangingbyathread6 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 1:16pm

My three bios do this a lot. They are 15, 12 an 8 and they often walk up for a hug from either myself or DH, and it is not uncommon for them to walk through the kitchen and look over and throw out a "love you mom, love you stepdad" At times, even though they are my kids it can be somewhat annoying, however I try to remember that they are just looking for reassurance that they are loved. I was raised in a very affectionate family and I have always been very affectionate towards my children. It really only annoys me when it's bed time and it's the fifth kiss and hug. Smile I'll take them as long as they want to give them out. And they do it to both me and DH, he's never said it bothers him nor does it appear that it does, but maybe I should check in to that.

BaaBaaBlackSheep's picture

Submitted by BaaBaaBlackSheep on Sat, 09/20/2014 - 10:11am

Thank all of those for your positive feedback. I will continue to give her hugs but I will have a talk with her to see if there is some insecurity issues going on & let her know how much she is loved. I will explain to her about the hugging situation in a nice way.