We deal with this every day! I cant tell you how many times I have to hear SD cry about how daddy doesn't care about her anymore because he has a "new family" now. My Husband jumps at every opportunity to be there for his child but just because BM says different SD doesn't believe her dad really cares for her. I dont know what to do. That's one of the reasons why I'm here!

I have never heard my SS say anything like this-- although recently his behavior is starting to be withdrawn when I am there and when his dad (FH) says "I need to talk to XX [me] about something" or does something like go into the other room while SS is practicing piano to talk with me on the phone.
I also think that FH has tremendous sadness, on some level, that he doesn't share with me about the changes in his relationship with SS b/c of our partnering,and as well b/c of the fact that his SS is getting older (currently, 10.5 and hitting puberty). There is the issue of BM's 12 year old SS, who my SS really likes being with, is motivated to be at his mom's house, etc. I think FH is threatened by this, although I actually like hearing that SS has his own SS/another kid to be with b/c when at our house, FH never has him invite a friend over and his time is totally spent with adults.
I wouldn't be surprised at some point soon if SS said stuff like this, directly. I think a dad remarrying has different effects than a mom remarrying (BM is remarried). Especially when SS and FH sort of lived as bachelors, doing guy stuff together all the time, at the exclusion of same-age friends, etc. My addition is a dramatic, dramatic shift in all of that. I am afraid for if/when FH and I do have our own child- and how this will continue to shift things even further.

Haven't had this yet...but FDH and I are saving a folder of every document possible showing that we tried, but that BM blocked us. Not to neccissarily make BM the 'bad guy', but to show SD that her father really *wanted* to be with her/talk to her, but he couldn't.

"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."

My DH used to call his kids every night. But then bitchy ex would get on the phone and want to chat, bitch, or talk to him. Since he doesn't like hearing her whiny voice, he stopped calling.

I think that its not DH's fault, but BMs fault. If she wasn't such a mean vidictive bitch, then he would want to have more to do with his kids. But since he doesn't want to deal with her and her drama, he has given up.

WHo can blame him, he is only human!! And who wants to be in constant contact with someone they don't like. ANd I think it is a BM who is puting that in the kids head.

You know, sometimes life isn't fair. We have blizzrds, tornados, kids are starving accross the world. And having a BM who alienates her ex by being a bitch is a sad reality. And the fact that she couldn't hold onto her man is a sad reality.

All of these kids will eventually grow up...the damage these women do will be with them for years...sometimes, like my DH, they wake up and realize the BS they were fed...sometimes, like my cousins, they don't...but sadly, there is not much you can do without basically telling them "your mom is a lying w#$%#$%" you know? and then, well, they hate him anyway...go figure...

So, I would just do what you do...if they say something, say something as simple as "that is not true and someday you will understand"...leave it at that...good luck...oh my, good thing I no longer deal with it and that DH has just realized that there is nothing he can do if the ex-witch feeds his daughter this and has basically given up and realized that once she is older she will either "attempt to understand the truth" or be just like her mother...and that honestly, there's not a darn thing he can do either way, therefore, he shouldn't feel guilty...

Here is what we do.....we provide a home that is free from BS and lies...talking about the ex (the kids mother) is only good and positive. We answer anything honestly, we ask no questions and we never push anything on them. We don't talk about how much we don't like her, we dont clear up the lies we know she is told...if she asks we discuss it but never do we bring it up. Because eventually we want them to know that we are here to love them and not to put them in the middle of adult anger. It has always been in the back of my mind that it was my choice to get a divorce, it is I that could not make my marriage work, not my kids...therefore I refuse to put them in the middle of anything...as well as his kids...luckily me and my ex husband have a great relationship...his ex is a pshycho!!!! but never do we talk to the kids about her..they get put in so much because of her...but never because of us. we dont argure in front of them, he doesn't talk to her in front of them and he never downgrades her. When some of the comments get mentined we assure them how much we love them and that they are always welcome and will always be an equal part of our life. We dont get in to drama and we dont feed it. We don't let comments bother us as such and we pray that the kids will eventually pick up on that!