Their BM is a recovering drug addict/alcoholic
We used to figure that SD would get a call from the police about her being found dead in a crack house somewhere, or wrapped around a telephone pole
It’s kind of a miracle it didn’t happen
DH would be relieved
SD would be sad and then relieved
SS would use it as another ‘poor me’ excuse

As much as I hate SS right now if anything would happen to him I'd feel terrible
if it were SS I'd be devastated
DH would be devastated if anything happened to either of them
he already lost one child...

DH about BM - he would be praising the Lord. He would be sorry that SD6 would be sad, but glad she was so young when it happened & think she is better off without her - which would be true

DH on SD6 - devastated. Sometimes I wonder if after the dust settled he would just be excited to be done with BM & have a 'normal' life. I think now that may not be true but a few years ago before he took her to court he wasn't allowed to see SD for around 6 months, only paid CS & just got cussed out daily by BM. It's hard to form a relationship with your kid under those circumstances & he did contemplate dropping off the face of the earth for BM & just paying child support and not having any contact. Now however things are much better, so he would probably be - as I said before - devastated. Along with his family & my family.

myself on BM - as much as I would like to say I would be upset, I wouldn't. It wouldn't change my life other than I wouldn't have to see her or hear her hideous voice ever again. However, I would have to take care of SD full time which I aint really estatic about especially after something so devastating to her.

myself on SD6 - I would be sad, I love SD6 but I'd be lying if I didn't say that after a month or so I'd just be happy to never have to deal with BM again. I don't wish anything bad on SD6 but if it did, that would be the one good thing to come out of it.

I believe we would all be devastated that SDs lost their mother. I can't imagine any other feeling. And I'd be terrified because I don't think I can do Skids full time. It was be very difficult. But mostly just very sad for the girls.

Having lost my mother, I would be really sad for my skids. As dramatic and absurd as she can be with us, she's still their mom.

I think I'd feel pretty much the same way as OP across the board.

I have to admit that I felt nothing when older SS died at 34. I had never met him and he was a hardened criminal gang member. So if anything I am relieved that he never appeared on our doorstep.

BM - indifference. Sad for her mother.

SS27 - he's sort of cleaned up a little recently but I keep waiting for another relapse. Right now I am allowing myself to have some hopes for him to have a future. Six months ago I expected him to be dead from alcoholism complications before he was 30.

DH would be completely devastated for SS if BM passed away. I can't even imagine how SS would take it. Not well.

I would be just as devastated for SS.

If something happened to SS, DH and I would BOTH be heart broken. I don't like to think about it. That would just be life changing and so incredibly sad.

If The RiceSlinger died we would both be relieved.

Every time we hear from her DH sighs and says , "Today is not the day." Meaning today is not the day she finally she died.

I think the kids would be hurt but better off without the drama and disorder.

If my skids died it would destroy my husband and son.

If BM died, I suppose DH would feel bad for his kids. Her death would have no effect on me.

If Skids died, DH would be heartbroken. I'd feel bad for DH.

I don't think myself or dh would feel much of anything if something happened to bm. We just don't feel much of anything about her at all-I don't hate her, or dislike her, in fact we have no contact with her at all-so I might be somewhat sad in the same way that its sad when anyone you know passes but that would be about it.

Skid-that's much harder. I think my dh would feel guilty. They are not on good terms-ss has told him that in his eyes he no longer has a dad. Right now, dh leaves it alone as he has tried and tried to have a positive relationship but it just always misery-however I think in his heart he feels that perhaps once ss is grown (he's 15) that maybe he will mature and they WILL have a relationship. Of course if something happened to him than that eliminates all possibility of that and dh would think he should have tried harder. I am not sure how I would feel if ss would die. I think perhaps I would feel some relief. And then probably some guilt for feeling relieved as it seems unchristian. I would worry about my dh and how he is handling it.

DH and I both lost our mothers too young and neither of us would wish that on anybody, certainly not SD.

For ourselves, BM's death would not matter to us at all, we have no contact with her anymore. Although SD is 22 and has 2 kids, she still relies on her mother quite a bit and should something happen to BM, I'd hate for SD to think we are going to become her "go to". I am very glad BM did not die when SD was a minor.

DH would, of course, be devastated if anything were to happen to his daughter and I would be devastated for him. I think he would put a guilt trip on himself about the past, even though the rift between him and SD was brought on by SD herself (with help from BM).

I am pretty indifferent to SD myself, but I don't wish her any harm. She is not nearly as bad as some steps (still would not have wanted to have custody of her, though).