Liar Liar Pants on Fire_Or Not
Last week DH told me he's been tracking SS's phone and seeing he's not in his dorm but at an odd place. He texted SS asking what's he up to and the kid said he's at bible study. DH called up BM asking if she knows anyone in SS bible study's group and she diid. Low and behold they caught SS out partying and smoking dope instead at the bible study :jaw drop: BM said SS needs to go to rehab..DH said SS he will yank SS out of college and SS needs to get a job. I keep my mouth shut and watch...Hmmm...wonder what will happen next...maybe nothing...Just like last time.
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But cutting the cord should
But cutting the cord should also mean cutting the purse strings too. No parent should be expected to pay for a child (skid or otherwise) to go party non-stop.
LOL!!!
LOL!!!
LOL , Ladyface, I kind of
LOL , Ladyface, I kind of thought the same thing, rehab for pot? I think they might laugh at him (reminds me of the movie Half Baked if you've ever seen it). What college kid doesn't smoke pot and party? I agree the parents are over reacting, and if the kid is on his own, the parents need to let go a little.
I agree with LadyFace,
I agree with LadyFace, college age kids need a chance to gain some independence. If they can go party and do whatever it is college age kids do (this mom does not need those details) and still keep grades where they need to be then it's a good life lesson in time management. And I have an 18yo college freshman.
Honestly it s struggle to resist the urge to suffocate him but I have to let him grow ! Would I express my displeasure if I found out he was doing things I don't agree with - YES in a second but not as far as to give him consequences/punishment. I might however tighten up an money going is way as I don't expect to support a weed habit.
Maybe, just maybe, DH should
Maybe, just maybe, DH should stop tracking his child 24/7. College is time to put away the helicopter. SS should not have to report every time he leaves the confines of the dorm. Plus smoking pot in a dorm room has been known to happen.
Maybe, just maybe, SS will leave his phone in his room when he doesn't want Dad to know where he is.
Maybe, just maybe, BM and DH should wait until grades come out before they send SS off to rehab and yank him out of college.
Yeah, it sounds normal; is he
Yeah, it sounds normal; is he doing ok in college so far with classes?
Maybe encourage him to get an on-campus job if he doesn't have one already. I worked just a couple hours a day at dinner food service (and met loads of people that way) with a full time class load my freshman year.
My parents used to call me at "odd" times (aka Saturday evenings or other evenings) when I was out doing stuff they wouldn't approve of and it really pissed me off. Helllloooo...I wasn't getting into trouble but using my judgement and learning. If I had a cell phone being tracked? OMG I'd have never talked to them again.
As long as his grades are
As long as his grades are high, they need to back off!! My parents paid for my college, and I pretty much did my own thing. There was definitely some partying. HOWEVER: I had a 3.5 GPA in Actuarial Science (calculus and statistics in insurance), was the EVP of a 500 person student organization, and held a PAID internship 3 of the 4 summers (my first summer I worked as a waitress).
I'm thankful my parents gave me the space to be independent, and also helped support me financially. The expectation was that I would be completely on my own at graduation. This was made very clear since I was around 10. Too many of these kids go off and don't have expectations set for them. I graduated with a great paying job and have been on my own ever since.
My parents weren't about to spend that much money for me to get some stupid degree like basket weaving, so they were pleased when I chose something sensible (not sexy) to major in.
He's doing fine with all his
He's doing fine with all his classes A/A- and they don't allow him to work. BM is extreme type person. To her SS is either an angel or devil reincarnation. I think DH understands what's going on with SS so I think he will let SS work as long as he maintain his grade. SS knows his father tracking him on his phone but he also know his father is not unreasonable likes BM and does cut him lots of slack so he's kind of want to try everything...it's college after all. I'm waiting for him to comeback with tatoo }:)
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