I agree with Druzilla. Get out now. You are way too young for this...

What Dru said!!!

A 38 year old with 3 kids and a wife :jawdrop:

Leave

He's a big boy, let him deal with his drama on his own.

i agree with what everybody else has said. you're so young! Run as fast and as far as you can and don't look back. Finish your schooling and find a guy your age and try to make it work. Relationships are hard enough without all the negative's you have going against the one you're currently in

BTW, I was 17 when I hooked up with my XH... (notice I said EX) and he was in the process of divorcing with one small child. I've been there, done that.

GO TO SCHOOL AND WORRY ABOUT YOU. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO GET WRAPPED UP IN HIS BABY MAMA DRAMA!

Oh honey, I'm sorry you're frustrated. Like all the others who've stated the obvious? He's twice your age, still married & has 3 kids?
There's always 2 sides to a story and let your BF deal with this drama unfolding. He's the adult.
As for you, my darling? I wish you the best if you choose to stay in this mess; THIS will make you old before your time.
If you need to post, perhaps you'd do better in LD..I think that's legal questions. Check on the website. If not, tell BF to take himself down to the local Family Law Self-help center. They can't answer questions but they can refer you to the correct forms to complete for your BF to respond or file motions in Family court.
There is a self help website as well if your state has it. You can look up references for the forms to be filled out. I wish you luck if you choose to follow this endeavor...I say, "Run Forrest; RUN!"

OK, first,,, havbe you seen her doing weed and popping pills? Or is this per your elderly BF?

Honey, you are YOUNG. Mr 38 is old enough to be your Daddy. I bet you are not too much oolder than his kids. In fact you are closer to their age than his which says a lot aobut his character. He wants to sleep with someone not much older than his kids./

If he cannot work it out at 38 and tell his wife to take a running jump off a short pier then he has no balls and she will always control the situation. Get used to it. This isn't about his wife, this is about how he allows himself to be treated. He could have her arrested but won't. If he really wants to bring her to her knees he would havbe her arrested for drug possession. But he hasn't. I don't care if his kids get upset, he wants his kids he has to fight for them instead of being pussywhipped from both ends.

Keep away until the divorce is finalised. For all your complaints about her weed and pill popping and cursing out her children he STILL lets them go back to her. If he hated her behaviour so much he would move heaven and earth to keep his kids safe.

But you will ignore all the advice in the world. YOu will get pregnant to him and have a cvouple of kids and one day the sun will rise and you will realise what a crappy position you are in.

You said she smokes pot in front of kids right? and does pills? Why don't you call social services. You don't have to tell them who you are. You can tell them youre a concerned neighbor who watched her do it. That may or may not help :?

Andei,

I am an older man who married a single teen mom and even I say you need to GET THE FUCK OUT.... NOW!!!!

My wife was 18 and I was 30 when we married after dating for 9mos. We met in college her first semester out of HS and the last semester of my 11yr undergrad career. So, we actually had a bit in common. I am 11.5yrs older than she is and I did not bring any spawn baggage to our blended family. We just celebrated out 17th anniversary so we have worked .... so far.

All we had to deal with was my SS-18's SpermIdiot and the SpermClan which was nothing compared to dealing with an SO who is twice your age with 3 spawn and at least one crazy bitch of an XW. I was married previously but had no children and was far past my XW when my wife and I married.

Lets assume for the sake of optimism that your relationship survives for the first few years. When BM gets rolling on draining your SO dry on CS, if the divorce is ever finalized, the family you create with your SO will be burnened with financial difficulty for a very long time. If you choose to stay in this situation I strongly urge you to get your butt in to college and get a degree. Not easy with several young children and a new marriage but necessary if your family is to have a snowballs chance in hell of having a decent life.

My wife did it. She was 16 when her son was born, 18 when she and I married and went on to finish college, grad school and is now a CPA.

If you decide to stick with this avoidable train wreck ..... Welcome, I hope you find this a good place to vent, contribute and to pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.

Hmmm.....

Personally, I would have waited to get involved until AFTER the divorce, just to ease up some of the messiness of it all. That being said, I'm in a similar boat. I hate my hubby's ex ONLY because of the things she does to the kids. Same idea, cusses them out, buys drugs infront of SD13, and talks about sexually explicit encounters she has with men she meets with SS13 too. Luckly for me, hubby has full custody, and we are MILES away from her.

For everyone else, yes, he may be twice her age but that doesn't mean he's a terrible person. My hubby and I met online (ooo taboo) and I didn't tell him my age until after I told him I loved him. It was something he didn't like actually. He was afraid that in a few years I would decide he wasn't worth it and I would leave him to go "enjoy life". It wasn't anything like him wanting me to nanny the children, or the idea of bedroom perks. Matter of fact, when his XW would drop the kids off for me to look after " because she had to work" he would call her and blast her because as he said, their kids are their problem and I'm not there to be a babysitter for her convenience. I love him dearly and yes we do have a ton in common. I've always felt more comfortable in a circle of friends who were much older than me. Yes strangers think it's bizarre when I say my husband is older, but the people that know us, know we work well together and that we ARE inlove. That being said, he's not the only reason I am here. I moved from Canada to be with him. Why? Because to move the children to me would be a change that would be way too much for them to soak in all at once. New marriage, new mom, new house, new country. Way too much. I love the kids as if they were my own. I do things with and for them of my own accord. Not because hubby wants or tells me to. And no, I'm not trying to "win" him or anyone over. I guess what I'm trying to say is there are different paths for everyone. Not everyone wants to be a mum especially to someone else's children. Even fewer want to make that commitment at a young age when you "are supposed to be enjoying life" (Can't tell you how many times I've heard that line). To anyone that asks, I can honestly say I AM enjoying life. I would take the mommy bag; with the extra snack and all the emergency supplies and band-aids, to go to the county fair over the Gucci purse to go to a club, any day.

first of all you are a sexy, intelligent young woman with years of being pampered by men ahead of you. do not for one moment forget: in your current relationship YOU ARE THE CATCH-NOT HIM.

he is a paunchy, balding middle aged dweeb with baggage all over him. married. bred. getting older every day. and you? not even ripe yet.

do not help him or deal with any crap. don't put up with a single thing. you want him divorced? "if you're not single for me in six months I'm leaving and if you don't file papers this WEEK I'm gone"

honey if you shout jump he will say how high.

as for the kids, be sweet to them and come here to vent when they bug you.

but the exwife stuff? put your pretty little foot down. he should be doing ALL the work, finding a lawyer, etc. that is the price old men must pay to have such fabulous young companions.

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You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to be tied to this crap forever? Girl TAKE MY ADVICE, I started dating my husband when I was 21, he was 25 with a 2 and a half year old daughter. He was also still married but had filed for divorce and we were together over a year before his divorce was finalized. I am almost 27 now and let me tell you, the BABY MAMA drama NEVER stops..in fact it gets worse in most cases. You need to go out and live your life for YOU. You will most definitely regret it 5 years from now when you have lost your identity and everything you do is for your man and HIS children.