But you already know.  This is not working out.  Nothing is going change,  He will keep his head in the sand and blaming everything on you.  His kids can’t do no wrong !!! 

You have to leave him  and find someone who thinks more like you,  you will never be happy with this guy  do you really want to live in a jail, where everything has to be locked up. Needs keys to get into your bedroom.  Be afraid that he will leave the door unlocked because he does not care.  

I'm so sorry AMC.  It's always sad when a relationship ends.  Even when I left my exH, I mourned.  I was elated, ecstatic and so happy sleeping on an air mattress in my new apartment.  Yet, I mourned the time lost.  The 16 years I spent with him only for it to end.

It is sad.  Let yourself grieve and then move forward.  You're making a good decision.  No one can live on eggshells like you've been doing.  You deserve better *hugs*

Sorry to hear this, it's sad when you have to give up on someone.   I was married first time around for 24 years, and put up with years of emotional abuse before I called it a day.  Really I should have gone sooner, but we had 2 kids together, and I had really loved him at the start.  You want to believe that you can find that person that you fell in love with, again.  But sometimes you can't, and the need for self preservation kicks in.  

Leaving and divorcing bring out all kinds of different emotions, and they can hit all at once. It's grief and anger and happiness that roll up into a ball and then it just starts to unravel whenever it wants it.

With my XH, there were many nights that I slept alone before leaving. There were many nights that I didn't sleep. There were days where we were good and nice, days of indifference, and days of fighting. The good days sucked because they brought hope, but fighting was the worst at the end. The fights weren't any worse than usual; they just hurt a lot more because of all the emotion. It's like watching a horrific accident in slow motion. You know how it's going to end. You know someone is going to get seriously hurt. But you can't look away, you can't stop it, and you can't speed it up.

Just keep sorting through your feelings and leaning on others. I use the analogy that divorce is like sorting through a box of Legos as a kid. You have red Legos, but there are all these blue ones in the box, too, and you don't like the blue, so you're trying to find every piece and chuck it out of your box. It's really easy to find the big pieces - the hurt, the distrust, the indifference, the grief - and they get tossed first.

However, as you dig deeper into your Lego box, the pieces get smaller. They are harder to find, they are small and get stuck to bigger pieces of your red Legos, and when you do find them, they are harder to grab and throw away. When you find a small piece, it is just as hurtful and surprising as a big piece. It sends you into a frenzy trying to find more little pieces to male sure they are all gone. Eventually, though, the blue pieces become rare. Sometimes you find one tiny piece, and you just chuck it. No more frenzy. You just now know that blue pieces aren't a big part of your red mix anymore, and that your red mix has every piece you need so you don't worry about throwing out the blue pieces.

You realize that blue was nice to have, but it didn't mesh with the red. It never blended to make purple blocks. The pieces were never the right size for the project you were building. They added some variety to your collection, but they weren't necessary. Besides, red looks better with yellow and orange - friends, family, hobbies - that it's easy to replace a small blue piece with one of those colors.

Eventually, you may find someone with a box of Legos that you want to share colors with again, but you'll be much more discerning about what Legos they bring to the party. You'll look at the color to see if it complements your warm tones. You'll see if they have the sizes and shapes you need to help build your various creations. You'll see if they have enough Legos to share or if they are only looking to you to give them some of yours.

You learned a very important lesson with the blue Legos that it's not about how pretty they are on the outside, or how you hope that when your Legos touched they would change into a beautiful blend of purple, but it's about every facet of owning your own Legos to build your own world. You don't need someone else's Lego, but if you want them, you know how they need to fit with yours to enhance the creations you are already making.

That ill be living here if we finally split!  If we split up it probably will be ugly, dh is so dramatic, and exsaggerates the truth sometimes.

Im startin therapy this week- i hope it helps- if not i cant see myself being here once baby girl starts school. 

You might have to change up the times you are home to avoid him a bit.  If he knows you are leaving, i dont fault him for sleeping somewhere else. 

When my EXH and I split up we were living in CA.  After we decided to split, we lived together for a couple of months while we prepared for our relocation back east.  Neither of us could afford the home alone since it was so expensive out there.  I do regret moving back a little bit.  I wish I had been more comfortable staying by myself and had gotten a room-mate or something.   But, at that point, I wanted to go back to a little less expensive life and that was what VA could offer. 

We actually got along better after we decided to divorce.  It was like all the tension (well most of it) was gone.  Neither of us started dating or anything during that time, but we lived like roomates until the house sold and we could move stateside. 

I honestly wouldn't sit on a decision like that.  I would get it out in the open.  Worst case is one of you would move out and rent temporarily.