Ungrateful step daughter
I recently had my 15 year old stepdaughter stay with us for 10 days. We tried to make sure she was comfortable in every way. However on her return home i have received negative feedback about my family from her. I have now resolved to ignore her.
I feel used and i dont think she realises that long term i am not going to be so accomodating to her as she will only badmouth us anyway.
It is all born from jealousy and un-education, as her mother relies on welfare. Where as her father and i are both hardworking and are able to provide more for my own 1 daughter (8) and our 2 children together (2 & 3).
If its 1 thing i cannot abide by its an ungrateful child, thats not the kind of example i want my children to learn.
She may have to learn to appreciate my family more when she is older or not, thats up to her!
- a.m.campbell's blog
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Comments
Don't ignore her.
If I may, I don't think ignoring her is the right way to deal with the situation. I can understand how you feel and dealing with teenagers is extremely difficult especially when they have their BM telling them falsified truths.
However, you are the adult and you need to lead by example. She is 15 years old and I think you should treat her like an adult too, by being straight up with her and telling her how she has made you feel. How her behaviour is completely inappropriate and that she has shown no gratitude towards your efforts.
Next time she visits, be polite and civil but don't go out of your way for her - if this is how she repays you.
I agree
I have a rule around my house. I do not tolerate my SS's being rude in any shape, form or fashion. Their attitudes are not going to effect my attitude. If they want to throw a fit, they may do so, in their room or outside. If they want to say ugly things, they may, somewhere out of my range of hearing. If they don't want to eat supper, no problem, it goes in the trash and they go on about their business. I am not about to engage in a verbal argument with them or give them any power over my actions. It makes things so much easier when they realize that their antics are not getting them anywhere.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
Passive aggressive teen SDs:
Passive aggressive teen SDs: if my SD would ever say anything to my face I could address it directly to her. But instead she communicates with my young relatives damning statements of my DH for daring to accept the divorce 14 years ago and move on with his life with me after 5 years divorced, and outright lies of things that happened before she was even born that she 'saw with her own eyes'.
Her mom taught her that trick as BM loves to contact DH's employers, relatives and friends, to do the same thing, because 'he owes them' even though she cheated and was physically abusive to DH during their marriage. If I ever have 2 cents to rub together I would love to sue them for defamation of character.
At the same time they both beg him to move back to their area - he felt he had to move because of the situation there and BM kept trying to get him arrested for manufactured things, etc. If he is so awful, why do you want him closer?
SD also told her mom, who left me nasty voice mails on this, that I was jealous of her because she wants to come here to visit, assume my life, bank account, family and role with DH, and ideally completely undermine me and ignore me for it. Not happening-!
I think once things progress to that point it is hard to think, they are just a child (sd is going on age 19 now and I have been in her life for 10 years).
The ONLY thing that has brought any improvement to their attitude and the situation is me cutting off my financial contribution to it. I did risk buying one present for her this year and pray it will not backtrack any progress made.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)