I have a 9 year old daughter who is an awesome kid. 5 months ago, we moved 4 hours to move in with my SO. SO is only home on weekends right now, because he drives truck. SO's DS is 18 and lives with us. SO also has a DD who is almost 20 and a great kid, who I get along wonderfully with. She is in college, has an apartment and is a sweet girl.

Some back story- bio mom is definitely not mother of the year. All she cares about is collecting child support (thankfully that is done now) and the next guy she's with. Her 2nd husband was physically abusive to SS, 3rd husband was verbally abusive. So SS carries a very large chip on his shoulder.

SS was supposed to graduate a year early May '11 but failed Sr. English. Next step- take an online course over the summer, finish Sr English by mid August.

Mid August came and went, and his dad gave him until end of year to finish it. Meanwhile, he does not contribute to the house, only chore he does is mow the lawn, does not help with housework, is not motivated at all to get a job. Is just content to waste his life away playing on his phone, computer and watching TV.

Now we are coming up to the end of the year, and he is not done with his class, STILL, and his dad doesn't think he's close to being done but says he will check with the counselor today.

I am starting to have problems with DD9 now, she sees SS screwing around, not doing schoolwork or chores, and has started questioning why she has to do these things, and is very frustrated.

SO does not think he can make SS do anything. His words "I push him and he stops doing the schoolwork. I back off to see if he does anything, and he apparently doesn't". I am at my wits end. I don't believe this boy should be controlling the situation like this. He needs counseling, he needs to get his class done so he can get his diploma, get a job and his own place, or join the military.

I don't know how to talk to SO about this without it turning in to an argument because he thinks I'm telling him what to do, how to parent his kid. He is too busy playing the friend card, and hasn't even thought of playing the dad card with this boy.