In a bad funk and really want to run away!
Since yesterday, all I've wanted to do is cry. I never though DH and I would get to a point where he suggested separating things, especially in the heat of a fight. We've always had a united front but right now I feel so alienated and alone.
Doesn't help that DH is gone still, I hate fighting with him when he's not home. All my family and friends are 4 hours away so I have no one to talk to. If my BD wasn't in a play every weekend for the next 3 weekends, I'd load up the kid and the dogs and go to my mom's house for like a week. Just feel like, what's the point of sticking around right now? If he has considered separating things, things aren't going to get better til the skids move out, and that makes my heart hurt so bad!
BD is in her play right now, it's 20-30 minutes from our house so I didn't have time to go home. Was going to go for a run but it's windy and raining on/off, need to get rid of this negative energy and sitting here with nothing to do and replay things in my head is not helping my mood at all!
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I was reading some of your
I was reading some of your other blogs. I feel so badly for you. Your skids are young adults living at home and doing nothing, correct? And your DH allows this? I can imagine, bc if I was not around, I think my FDH would let his kids move in and take control. He has this idea that they will get better some day. I do NOT see that ever happening, as they just get worse.
My FDH has 3 young adults-19, 20, 23. They do not live with us, and never will. They are lazy and nasty, and I do not trust them at all. Only one works, part time, and claims she will never work full time. The other 2 refuse to work. All they do is eat, sleep, and play video games. They want FDH to support them for the rest of their lives.
What does your DH want to do now? What does he mean by separating things?
Yep that's exactly how it is.
Yep that's exactly how it is. SD20 and SS18 both live with us, work part time, I have to remind them to pick up their dirty dishes, clean their rooms, clean their bathroom, and SS used to take a shower once every 7-8 days. Now that he has a job, he showers about every 3-4 days. So many ppl have told him he needs to shower at least every other day but for some reason he has an aversion to showering. I cannot sit or stand next to him without gagging.
DH doesn't see the problem with the skids living with us forever, and not doing anything or contributing at all. He has guilty dad syndrome. He doesn't make SS respect me. SS has told me to F* off, Kiss my @ss, leave me the F* alone...and has never been told to apologize for disrespecting me.
DH suggested separating things such as food. He'll buy food for his kids, and put their name on it. I buy food for me and my BD9 and put my name on it. I told him that was the most ridiculous idea he had an that wouldn't solve the problems we have.
OMG. He is just making it
OMG. He is just making it worse and giving them more power. I feel so bad for you and your daughter.
This is exactly the life I would be having if FDH's kids lived with us. They have tried it, but failed, bc we had a long talk before we moved in together. I got to know them, and told him there is no way they are moving in, and as of now they are not even allowed to visit. They are cruel and manipulative and I want nothing to do with them.
Guilty dad syndrome is horrible, and your DH sounds really bad. My FDH was bad, but when all 3 of his brats got out of control last year, he put his foot down. However, he still thinks they will change. He does not understand that they cannot change-they are exactly like BM. You cannot change what is part of them, literally. You can look at them and see they are not right-no emotions except anger and whining.
The disrespect you are getting is abuse and your DH should be ashamed of this. He needs to wake up, or they will be there forever, and you will be gone. What a bad example for your daughter, too-I hope he sees the light soon, but it sounds like he is really not wanting to see the truth. He hopes they will change, but he is making it worse.
You cannot live like this forever, it is not fair to you or your daughter.
I so envy you, that you were
I so envy you, that you were smart and said "no way". I moved in a year ago under the belief that SD would be going back to school and live on campus in August. And SS was finishing up a Sr English class online would start at the university in August and live on campus as well. Well SD had to appeal to get back into University (she was put on academic probation), she finally moved back on campus in October...only to flunk out again and be kicked out of the university for a year...moved back in with us in February. SS hasn't even started college yet, and of course is still here. Should have made him sign a contract that this would really happen last year.
I have told him, once both skids move out, they are NEVER moving back in. Newest blog has some updates...after his latest outburst/temper tantrum, SS will be out in just over 60 days!!!