This shouldn't be an issue but of course it is
I just can't seem to let things go. SS12 and SD9 come home after the weekend with their precious mother. SS12 informs me and HB that we need to make him a eye doc appointment and his mommy dearest will pay for it. I say to SS well, why doesn't your mom make the appointment and take you, afterall she is your mom. He gets pissed at me and says I don't know. Who does BM think she is trying to order us around through SS? I left it at that. Then today, BM pulls in the drive during dinner and skids leave their plates and run outside. I'm like WTF!!!! I had no idea she was stopping by. I guess that's why SD called her yesterday and today after school. This is my house and my property and I feel like I should be made aware of things before hand. Just because her kids live here does that give her free reign to come and go as she pleases? or rather at the beck and call of the skids. Where are the boundries on this situation? This is not the first time. Skids have done it many times in the past and I have let it be. Now I'm getting irritated.
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Talk with H
If I were you----Talk with your husband he should make it clear to the kids that they need prior approval if they want to see their BM on nonscheduled days. And he needs to let them know that if she comes over to pick them up without prior approval they WILL NOT be able to go.
Then if he calls BM to tell her the same thing it should squash these unexpected visits. She will be mad at first but BM does not have a choice--custody arrangements need to be kept or court looms.
If you tell the kids it makes you the bad guy----let your husband handle it.
What does she stop by for?
What does she stop by for? That would irritate me to no end! I would definitely tell your DH to set up some boundaries with her.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
SS9 wanted mommy
to bring her the two dollars she had at her house. No emergency or nothing.
wow. I would tell your DH he
wow. I would tell your DH he needs to talk to his kids about telling her to come over, and tell her it isn't appropriate to stop by unannounced just because the child told her to. I would flip out if BM showed up at my door! I think that would be an issue for anyone.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Doesn't that
make me into the bad guy. My bio kids dad doesn't do that. Of course he lives about 70 miles away. But when he lived closer he didn't infinge on my time. My kids of course know my boundaries. DH's kids don't.
No
Don't shift it to your dh, tell her yourself that she needs to let you know if its convenient for her to drop by.
Buy the book
Boundaries and wrap it for him for Christmas.
that would so irritate me
how disrespectful, that is teaching those kids that only their feelings matter, I would defintely talk to H.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
This was discussed
with BM today and not suprisingly she put on the victim face once again. DH told me what she said but his attitude toward me was, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??!! So I get a call this evening from a good friend telling me that BM is talking sh*t about me on her Myspace page. Saying So sorry b*tch you'll never replace me and I'm not going to let the jealous b*tch bring me down. I'm livid. I tell HB about it. He says Well I don't know what to say about that. (when are you going to quit being such a f*cking p*ssy) A little that's b*llsh*t would help. He says that I just need to take care of it and quit the drama. So I am basically on my own yet again. Should'nt a HB stand up for his wife. Maybe I'm being petty cause BM can't face me on her own, has to resort to trying to inrage me on her freaking myspace. I hate her.