I agree with everyone. Do NOT cosleep with skids EVER. Hasn't anyone ever watched that movie with Meryl Streep & Leslie Neilson? Don't cosleep with skids. Too much room for way too much stress, I have read accounts of false abuse charges coming from such things (so it's not just a movie).

Plus 9 is WAY too old for that. Does he ever have sleepovers with friends? Have a sleepover when he comes over, obviously when your DH gets home. Don't want to be overwhelmed with more kids than the skids. Skid will get made fun of by his friends for being so scared of the dark, such a baby he needs to sleep with his mommy & daddy. He'll stop, when he realizes it isn't acceptable by his peers.

If peer pressure doesn't work, do it by giving him a sleeping bag for the floor. Put it next to the bed the 1st night. 2nd night in the doorway. 3rd night hallway, keep door open. 4th night his room, doors open. & if he gets up to come into bed, shut that down & tell him back on the floor (ETA) or he can go to his room in his own bed. Absolutely no way I'd let a skid in bed with me. I don't even like it when my SD is snuggling on the same couch as me.

I think this is a perfect opportunity to put a stop to the bed thing. Just say, "sorry dude, not happening," the second he tries to go into your bedroom. Then shut your door and lock it. At 9 years old it's nothing but pure lazy parenting that is keeping this arrangement going. Also, my DH has had one day off in the past twenty-something days so I feel your pain. DH manages to see the kids for about 30 minutes at night and that's it.

You either say "Nope, go to bed and go to sleep" or if you're feeling espeically kind, you haul a chair next to his bed, sit there and read him a story and then sit with him until he falls asleep. Either way, NO to getting into YOUR bed.

Will SS really want to still sleep in bed with just step mom and not dad? Yucko.

I don't know how you've been putting up with SS in your bed. The thought of my SS14 being in our bed at age 9 makes my skin crawl.

We don't even share our bed with the dog, co sleeping would be a hill to die on for me.

Good luck and don't let that kid in your room anymore!!!!!!

oh and ps, OP, at least yours is good w/ being carried to bed then is good w/ that.

after dh quit bringing kaos into OUR bed, he'd sleep in there with him (and me in our room awake watching tv). dh would sneak out, come to bed. i'd turn tv off and immediately fall asleep. 10 mins later, *crrreeeeaaaak* "nnngggdddaaaadyyyyy? i cant sleeeeeeeppppp...." dh would get up, go in there and lay with him, i'd turn tv back on, then dh would creep back out and get into our bed. i'd turn tv off.

ten minutes later... you get the idea. this crap would happen (at first) literally 12-15 times a night.

he eventually has gotten to the point he doesnt need someone sleeping WITH him like under the same covers, but he still cant sleep alone, he "needs" someone in his room. lurch is 16 and has his own room, but he'll usually cave and sleep in there w/ kaos. BUT kaos has been really pissed lately that lurch has been spending some nights at friends' houses over the summer break. if he knows lurch is leaving, he immediately says "can i call g-ma?" (she'll cosleep w/ him). if he kinda wants to stay home but knows lurch wont be there, he'll say "dadd you NEED to call lurch and tell him to come hooooome toniiiiight!" remember, this kid is ALMOST THIRTEEN.

trust me. cosleeping is a nightmare.