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Tough choices

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Submitted by didddos on Fri, 05/18/2007 - 8:39am

It is hard enough to make decisions for bio-kids when you know you will alwys be there to help them to deal with the decisions you've made for them.

With stepkids, it's even harder.

DH and I have talked about trying for custody. We will have letters from the school supporting us and documentation of BM wanting to give him up to us and then recanting (3 times this year).

SS seems so happy lately. I can see the *old* kid in him. The one I've missed so much. He's back :*-)

How much weight does the school carry?

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Submitted by didddos on Wed, 05/16/2007 - 7:51am

Summary of where we are: SS13 ran away almost 2 weeks ago. BB told him she couldn't handle him and he had to come live with his dad. Now, BB says she wants him back at the end of the school year. SS is failing school and has behavior issues. YES, we want him. We have always wanted him! BM has used SS as a means to control DH and I. She is now using us to try to control him! We don't want to be used as a punishment, but we will never, ever turn down time with him. He's having a lot of problems. He's just a kid. He can make me frustrated and angry, but I love him.

Up and Down - I want off this rollercoaster

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Submitted by didddos on Thu, 05/10/2007 - 10:50am

Last Friday, BB told SS13 she couldn't handle him anymore and he had to come live with his dad. She's done this a few times and doesn't seem to understand how much she hurts him.

We were supposed to meet tomorrow night to go over the specifics. She called dh last night and told him this was only temporary. Yes, we knew that and he told her it would addressed in a document for them both to sign. She said, "No! She only meant for it to be for a month!"

I need some advice

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Submitted by didddos on Mon, 05/07/2007 - 11:19am

This weekend has been emotional rollercoaster.

SS and his friend walked out his in school suspension on Friday. He wasn't found until 8:00 p.m. I was so scared and then so relieved!! It could have ended very badly. At first, I was just glad SS was unharmed.

SS will NOT run the show!

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Submitted by didddos on Thu, 05/03/2007 - 8:50am

I posted last week about how SS refused to come for visitation because he would have been grounded by DH for behavior and failing school and lying about his completing homework. DH could have fought it, but decided not to force SS.

SS called last weekend. We were out of town. He said, "Dad, will you come get me? I want to come to your house for the weekend." It was not our weekend. I'm not sure what happened, but SS was not pleased with BM.

Haven't heard a word

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Submitted by didddos on Thu, 04/26/2007 - 8:39am

We haven't heard a word from SS since DH told him he was grounded because of his grades and lying about having his homework done. BM intervened, called DH and told him SS didn't want to and wouldn't come for visitation. That was all a week ago. DH usually talks to SS everyday.

DH gives up

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Submitted by didddos on Mon, 04/23/2007 - 1:02pm

A few months ago, I was ready to give up. I was ready to walk out. SS was out of control. SS is still out of control, but at least now DH and I can talk about it. Before, DH was defensive. He didn't appreciate me talking badly about SS. In fact, he got downright pissed that I say a bad word about the little sh**. DH didn't want to admit how bad things have gotten.

My first blog

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Submitted by didddos on Fri, 04/20/2007 - 8:44am

I'm nervous to post it and have the wrong person see it, but here goes. I need a safe place to vent, seek advice, and find camaraderie. I'll summarize...

Dh and BB split when ss was 18 mo. The ex had an affair. As dh puts it, a woman can cheat on a man, tell him to move out, she's keeping the kid, she's keeping the house and everything in it, and he's going to pay her for it. That's what happened.