Can't believe how much time has passed since I first read this. I hope it's still alive on other boards. I think it's time to be re-posted for those who are new to ST and might need an outline. So, here it is.....

I was given this advice/post when I first joined a Step board. I saved it because it worked for me, and every now and then I take it out and re-read it as needed. I hope it can help someone else...
*(i did not change a thing, this is exactly as it was written by FallMorn)

Very disturbing psychological trend, a theme that keeps cropping up on this board.
Found a link that explains it well enough, but still Google it yourselves to see what
other sources you find that might explain it.

http://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html

Short Definition

I don't know how it will be for you (general you), but right now, that knot in my tummy has loosened for the first time in 15 years. I've been mostly disengaged for over 5 years and it's paid off. I'm not emotionally affected any longer. DH can make plans with his children, and it's all good. Right now it's just been lunches, maybe it'll be dinner or bowling next, but I just know that I am not bothered, I'm actually happy that he can have his time with his kids and we're all happy. I used to be jealous of time and money spent... now I'm encouraging him to slip a 20.00 into a pocket.

Dh is in child support court to get a ruling on ending support at 21. He's been in twice since he filed back in May, and she's had problems every time. He's hired an attorney, they've been working every night for the past two weeks, making sure all the potential issues are covered (if that can ever be done).

The things I've learned from this; #1 Don't take anything for granted. #2 It ain't over till the fat lady sings. #3 Keep your cool no matter what. Lastly, #4 The internet can be your very best friend if you learn how to work it.