SilentlyCoping's Blog
House Rules& Expectations...Opinions Needed
I need opinions....these are the house rules and expectations I have come up with so far. I am struggling with how to word or work in the fact that this arrangement is not indefinite...that there is an expiration even if all expectation are met. HELP!!!
HOUSE RULES/EXPECTATIONS
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Fearing the Outcome
My step daughter is supposedly moving in with us. Shes 19 and has been out of school for a year and has $500 to her name. She says she's been working but I'm pretty sure she's been spending countless weeks with her boyfriend at his parent's house. Circumstances were such that last Summer she moved out of the area with her siblings and mom. None of the kids really wanted to go but my husband travels a lot for work and it was not feasible. He told all of them, take the move as an opportunity. Work hard, save money and move back on your own terms.
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Weight Loss Wasn't the Answer I Guess
Quick summsry...married to my second husband. My boys are 22 (twins) and live back in my home state. I have 3 step kids (19, 16 and 14). I have so many issues when it comes to my step kids...they are aloof, lazy, clueless, no motivation, disconnected. I've been with my DH almost 5years now. As life goes on and brings it's challenges, I see more abd more that some of their behavior has been directly learned from DH.
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Camping in Hell
So, DH and I recently bought a travel trailer. It's funny because when we were out looking at them, never once did the fact that it had no room for his children come up. He was content with the fact that it had a dual reclining couch and a nice queen size bed for the both of us. So we've taken it out a few times and the I guess the guilt got to him that he hadn't bought his kids out in it. So I reluctantly agreed to go camping with his parents and take two of his three kids. Well, that was the biggest mistake of my life. There's just not enough room and he caters to these kids so much.
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It Finally Came To Counseling
So, I haven't been on here in a while so I'll catch some of you up. I am a married stepmother, I've been married for a little over two years, with my husband a little over four years. I have three stepchildren, two girls who are 15 and 18 and one stepson who is 13 almost 14.
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Reaching My End
Kids were here again this weekend. I'll remind you....2 girls, ages 15 and 18. One boy, age 13.
Ever since the oldest turned 18 DH has told her ay least two dozen times what an adult she is. She is the farthest thing from it. She cannot do or think about two things at once. She has no ambition. No driver's license, no job. Two times now she's told her dad 45 minutes before she needs to be somewhere. When asked why she doesn't tell him more ahead of time, her cop out is "I don't know". I call BS!! It is because she's not held accountable and not pushed to do shit!!
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All About Intimacy
Okay guys, this one has nothing to do with the step children but has everything to do with my relationship with my DH. I have to survey you guys. My DH is in his early forties, I am in my mid-to-late forties. We've been together for a little over 3 years now. Married for not quite 2 years. When we first met, of course, there was lust and all that good stuff. We had a grear sex life. But within the last year, or a little more, out sex life has become very dismal. And, I know that he is watching porn t least one or two times a week.
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Making Myself Scarce
So, I have been at my new job almost three months! Much different than what I used to do but I am loving it! However, on the weekends my DH has hiis kids, I dread going home on Friday night...and I am not allowed to work overtime lol.
I do not even want to be around these brats anymore. The weekends they are here, I plan my outings so that I am gone the majority of the day on Saturday....periodically Sunday. I am not sure DH has caught on yet or if he figures I just need to do errands on the weekend since I work all week.
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Am I Right?
So, before I get to the question at hand, let me give you a little bit of background. This past weekend, Labor Day weekend, was the weekend my DH was to have his children. For those of you that don't know my step kids are 12, 14 and 17, with the two oldest being girls. He was told on Wednesday night that the girls had a volleyball tournament on Friday some 4 hours away and that they had another tournament on Saturday which was only about an hour and a half away. So, he originally said he would pick up his son from school Friday and then he would attend the tournament on Saturday.
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Little Liars!
Okay, the weekend is almost over so it's time for me to vent again. I am sorry to sound like a bitchy, crotchety old lady but I have had it. These kids, meaning my step kids, are nothing but freaking little liars and DH just doesn't get it!!!
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