I'm curled up on the floor shaking in tears as I write this. My 5 year old step daughter who lives with my husband and I, has way too much control over our family and the dysfunctional behavior going on. I stay at home with her all day everyday during the week while my husband works. A year ago I got pregnant with my first biological child. I was shell shocked and overcome by fear and dread. I looked into having an abortion. I don't believe in killing fetuses and I have desperately wanted to be a mother my whole life.