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When are they responsible

3xmom's picture

Submitted by 3xmom on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 2:46pm

So just to get ideas here when do we consider the kids to be old enough to accept responsibility for their actions and behaviors and stop blaming it on the fact that they come from a 'broken' home. They are old enough to drive by themselves in most states at 16, they are old enough to vote for our president at 18...I honestly don't know anyone who had the perfect childhood with the perfect "leave it to beaver" parents who never yelled, lost their temper or always parented 'correctly'. So at what age do these kids become responsible for their choices to act the way they do... I don't think at 40 I can blame my parents divorce when I was six for a bad choice I make today or can I???? }:) At what age does the realization hit that maybe there was more than one side, the one they were told by their mother, to that story...

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DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 3:00pm

...the sad and truthful answer is "never". It will always be someone else's fault, some disorder, some syndrome, some bull shit.

I too was the product of divorced parents, and I made it through without getting into trouble, getting pregnant, acting like a hellion etc. Granted I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't in need of a psychiatrist either.. nope that need didn't arise until I became a step mother who has to deal with her DHs lunatic, selfish, entitled, skanky ass BMs

karenemoy's picture

Submitted by karenemoy on Mon, 03/21/2011 - 3:10pm

I agree never - my SS21 blames everything on his abandonment issues. That is why he is a bi polar heroin addict. It is never his fault - either DH or BM's fault. Granted BM is a total whack bitch job but I grew up with issues in my house and an alcoholic father. But I never blamed things on that.

I just don't think they will ever change, but that is their problem not yours. I no longer have a relationship with the SS21.