DH, are you for real?
Oh my, and I thought we were doing so good. I'm just in need of a good vent about this so I don't feel such a need to holler at him.
OK, so he tells me that he wrote an email to BM, it said something along the lines of "we went and met with the CPS people. I'm glad that things are moving along and we can get some help for SD. DW(me) is trying harder and will keep doing so". WTF DH, WTF I'm trying harder? That makes it sound like I wasn't trying before. I've been trying for 5 f'n years now and the only problems I see that are mucking up our happy little home are BM's jealousy towards me and the fact that we have a happy little family that doesn't include her and the fact that she has PAS'D SD to the point that she feels she must go home and tell lies about what goes on because heaven forbid that she actually say she had a good time with us. OMG, I'm so mad that he said I'm trying harder. Why wouldn't he ask her to lay off the nastiness? He read the entire email to me and that was the only part I asked him to change, he said it's too late, I already sent it! BM replied back "I'm glad your wife is going to try harder", LOL she didn't even address the other issues that he asked about. That's the only comment she made. Maybe in the future I can actually laugh abou it but right now I feel like kicking DH.
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I don't blame you for being
I don't blame you for being upset. Did he really mean for the email to come across that way?
:?
No, he says he didn't. He was
No, he says he didn't. He was trying to prove a point that we were willing to work on things. He sometimes "throws me to the wolves" and doesn't even realize it until I point it out. I do think he feels badly now that I said I wasn't impressed by that sentence. I think in the future perhaps he'll read it to me and then send it. We can't take it back now though, that's what is bugging me. In BM's fat head she is thinking that DH must have beat me into submission or something and now I'll be trying harder, GRRRRR.
I'd remind him that your
I'd remind him that your marriage is a team sport, and he just let the other team score a few goals.
ah, yes. I am for some reason
ah, yes. I am for some reason needing to remind him nearly constantly that we are a team, our marriage comes first and I am his #1 priority. If anyone doesn't agree, that's fine. It's my opinion only. I (and our marriage counsellor) think that if we don't put the marriage first we will be unhappy and then the kids won't have a happy home. It makes perfect sense to me.
Please demand for him to show
Please demand for him to show you any email (before being sent) that contains references to you. I would also demand that he answer back to that email she sent. And add whatever clarification is needed. I still don't fully understand what were you supposed to be trying "harder" and why only you, and not "we are trying harder"?
In all honesty (I have no
In all honesty (I have no reason to lie, I don't know any of you in person). I have tried since day 1. SD and I used to get along great. Then DH and I got married, there was alot of drama from BM, we refused to take SD on our honeymoon, lol, she thought we should cut it short so we were back for the next weekend but we had 2 weeks and wanted to enjoy ourselves. BM called 2 times to scream at DH well we were away. This is when things started to go badly, I tried everything, taking just SD out shopping, to get our nails done, for ice cream. It seemed that the nicer I was the more lies she would tell BM about me. I now understand that it was the beginning of PAS. In July 2008 when BD was born any part of civility that was left went right out the window. BM thought we should take SD for the first week we were home with the baby but she was under weight and we had to go into the hospital everyday to get her weighed. My kids stayed with my parents and their BD. We didn't see any reason to take SD as then we'd need another sitter for her. There have been many lies and half-truths told by SD and I think sometimes BM must just make up stuff. BM has repeatly told DH (in front of SD) that he had to choose her or me. Well, DH has told SD many times that he loves me and I will never be going anywhere, I think this is where her hatred for her father comes in. I wish I knew how the story ended but I guess I'll have to keep living it and posting.
Really there is nothing for me to try harder at! DH was simply trying to let BM know that I wasn't mean and hateful as she's been told. I said he should ask her to try harder but we all know that would be a waste of time.