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Lulu's Blog

DONT FOOL YOURSELF!

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It seems that a majority of the step parents on this site despise their step kids. I DO NOT! I love them dearly just as they were my own. I am the only real mother figure they have ever known. Their BM was very unstable mentally. I understand that these step kids are probably a handful, disrespectful, etc. because of outside influences. However, in my experience, my step kids are no more disrepectful, thoughtless, thankless, lazy, whiney, rude, gripey, and spoiled than my own. I just think that with our own kids we tend to overlook alot of that.

BM was CRAZY but her mom is just as crazy if not more so.....

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If you have read my blog you know that BM committed suicide. I have been raising her 3 kids for 13 years and they are all 18 or older now. In fact 2 of their birthdays were last week (B18 and G19). We have not heard from BM's family since her death which has been 2 years in october. Their grandmother sent them each a card and written on the inside is a little passage about how much she misses them and loves them and if they want to call her, they can call her house number at XXX or her cell number at XXXX and then she states that the cell number is their mom's old number.

How come there is never an accurate portrayal of Step families on TV?

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I have never seen a tv show or movie with an accurate portrayal of what step life is really like. It is the hardest thing a woman will ever do. Kids are mean, birth moms are idiots, and most husbands look the other way. All the while step mom is trying with all her might to make it work. Step moms are so under rated...... Cant someone speak up for us good step moms in the world that only want everyone to get along and be happy. I feel so invisible!

Just a response I wanted to add to my blog!

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You said your SD is 7. My SD was 5 when I got her. I never pushed myself on her because BM would tell her "shes not your mom" and "you cant call her mom". I remember one time my SD asked me if she could call me mom shortly after I moved in with them. I sat her down and told her to call me whatever she wanted. Whatever made her comfortable. I knew I wasnt her mom and was not trying to take her place. She continued to call me by my name. I didnt hug her or coddle her the way I do my own. I regret it sincerely. I wish I would have pushed myself on her.

WOW! Maybe it's not so bad!

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I have read many of the posts. I dont have it nearly as bad as some of you do. I am so sorry for all yall are going through. My step kids are respectful even if it has been against their will. I do feel unappreciated but they have never back talked me or said they hated me. I guess if my husband didnt back me up 100% it would have been different. Don't get me wrong, we have had it rough but I think we may make it through this and still be a family. I am hoping anyway. All of your stories have made me see that it could have been much worse.

Does anyone ever say this "I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!"

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I am so tired........... I sometimes feel like I made a huge mistake. My husband is so wonderful to me and he loves his and our kids. I just keep thinking I should not have been such a control freak! When their mom dropped them off and moved far away I jumped in and TADA!!! I was a mom. No kids of my own at that time, mind you. I should have made her take them even though she didnt want to. From day one it was so much drama from bio mom and my husbands mother. No wonder his ex wife was such a nut, dealing with that crazy biotch would tend to make you looney.

Bio mom committed suicide

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I have been a step mom for 13 years. My steps were 4,5,6 when we got custody of them. Bio mom was mentally unstable. I always swallowed my pride and was able to be the bigger person. I did everything for the kids, while she did little exept take credit for my hard work. I felt the best thing to do was to befriend her rather than fight all the time. It lasted several years until the mental illness took a turn for the worst. I was so tired of the constant drama that I cut her off and told her I no longer wanted to deal with her directly.