So today SS11's biomom didn't show up for work, some coworkers called SS22 (her older son) to see if anyone has heard from her. No one has, so SS22 called Granny (biomom's mom) to go check on her, and apparently she was unconscious in her room due to diabetes issues and my SS11 lives in the house but he never noticed she was unconscious or that he needed to call 911.

My DH ex (biomom) does not parent SS11. They divorced when he was 5. I've known SS11 since he was almost 6. And during that time, biomom didn't do anything at all to parent this kid. Biomom pretty much still does everything for him as if he were still 5 years and helpless. Did she just give up at trying to teach him how to become a future functioning member of society? Since he's been coming to visit here, and since she hasn't taught him much, it's up DH (and me sometimes) to do a lot of it - which kinda makes us the bad parents.

But did I really know what I was getting into??? No, I didn't! As a single mom, marrying a man with kids, I thought no big deal. We'd marry, live together, I'd have my little happy "family", and see his kids every now and then per the paperwork. But it's not all what I thought I'd be. Here's a great article I found that has helped me in knowing there are others out there feeling the same.

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Did you really know?? [from http://csmchat.weebly.com/did-you-know.html]

Yesterday I told my DH that I will be disengaging and that DH is responsible for all of SS11's needs, etc. It's the only way I can think of that will help our arguing when SS is always around. I also think it will help me mentally as well. I want to be happy and enjoy my home, and by me not "caring" so-to-speak about SS's needs, this should free me up from nagging, policing, correcting him, and will also keep me from going behind him cleaning up every little damn mess he makes. Not my kid, not my problem. Wish me luck!!