Ok, so it hasn't been that long since disengaging (a matter of days) BUT I feel great, I feel free of a hideous burden, I'm happy, happy, happy!

I'm actually really happy that DH understands and supports my decision to disengage fro SS19 and SD13.

In my head i'm planning what to get family and friends for christmas, and they are NOT on the list. I don't have to plan "fun" and "inclusive" activities for the holidays, I don't have to be that woman in desperate need of gaining friendship from my ungrateful SKIDS!

Yuss, Yuss and Yusss!

So, I have decided that disengaging is a bit like chess. For so long DH and I have been the pawns in a torrid game between, MIL, BM, SIL and at time SD12 and SS18.
I disengaged from BM ages ago (without even realising) and then MIL just recently due to offering a place to stay over christmas to BM. I brought DH in on the disengaging secret, who at first thought it was un-intentional, then due to recent dramas has realised it is completely intentional and the drama has been in his life for a long time.

So, we dropped SD14 off at the airport for a 6 day visit with BM, which was nice for her, and nice for us. ('us' time is always nice)
As we were traveling home, I discussed with him how I was going to disengage from his mother, and the reasons why ( previous assistance from another member), and after explaining my reasons, he accepted why, and how I was going to do it, and he actually saw my perspective which was great.

We will see how we go.