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SS7 and 9 -- wish I could love them more

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Submitted by stepmum on Wed, 04/21/2010 - 7:15pm

I have just returned to this forum after about a year. I also still have to contend with a BM that is schizophrenic and thus my DH's two step-sons (7 and 9) live with us full time. I am practically dying everyday a little bit because although both of my SS's are great, I don't feel the way I -should- feel towards them despite being the major figure in their lives for the last 6 years. It's partially because of BM, of course.

It's January 27th -- it's been about 35 days...

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Submitted by stepmum on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 3:06pm

since the BM left. She told us she would come in and she was supposed to stay from the 13th until the 6th. She left suddenly at 7am on the morning of the 22nd, leaving us stranded with nothing to do for Christmas Day, no plans, no relatives. We managed to fly out to visit family but...but. Always a but. I should be happy that she left, right? Because these kids can't be tainted any longer and I didn't have to physically watch them with her. But my God I needed a break. I needed a break so bad I was crying for one every day. I didn't get a break.

Once again shielding myself from BM's bulldozer ways.....

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Submitted by stepmum on Mon, 11/10/2008 - 10:25am

BM had said she would come in December 13th to right before nye, however, now she has said

1. she wants my husband to buy the plane ticket and she will "pay him back" (SHE IS OVER 10,000 IN ARREARS)
2. she asked if she could camp out in the backyard instead of having to stay in a church
3. she wants to stay for a whole month!!!!! from the 13th to the 13th of January!

F*** YOU, B****, AS IF.

I asked my husband what he said in response and he said, "all I could say is 'you're crazy'"...

lovin' it!

Clarification on "could potentially harm her children"

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Submitted by stepmum on Mon, 09/15/2008 - 6:21pm

We do NOT believe she is a case like any of those women who drowned their kids in the bathtub or the like. Of course, one can never be sure. She really does love her kids. BUT, we definitely do think that her delusions could easily cause her to panic in a situation in which the panic would lead to an action which could endanger the children.

It is quite a leap, I know. How hard it was for me to wrap my mind around this and think about everything we had to go through to take care of them, and not even be able to have a REAL reason for going through it.

BM mentally ill.

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Submitted by stepmum on Mon, 09/15/2008 - 6:15pm

Let me get to the heart of the matter. The bm is sick, basically she is mentally ill. I don't really know what is wrong with her brain, I have my suspicions but I don't know for sure. Two years ago, she started sending us very alarming letters. She would tear her hair out and worry and fret and stare off into space for hours and talk endlessly about what she thought was happening to her. She'd barely concentrate on the children. H tried to get a lawyer at that time but he didn't have enough to go on until we got the letters.

Oh, I'm tired.

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Submitted by stepmum on Mon, 09/15/2008 - 6:13pm

Thought I'd break my post down a bit, so people could respond to various issues if they wanted to...it was way too long for the average person at work to read!

Child support.

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Submitted by stepmum on Mon, 09/15/2008 - 11:49am

It's been a long road since my last post. DH just told me that lawyer has filed the petition to modify visitation and contempt of child support this morning and will be sending it to a private process server tomorrow -- she has not paid child support in almost 4 years and she has no plans to, so she is essentially over 10,000 in arrears. DH never really asked her for it because, (1) He didn't want to rock the boat and (2)he had the leisure of being able to do that because he makes six figures.

Blowin off steam...

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Submitted by stepmum on Wed, 05/16/2007 - 9:22pm

People say a lot of stuff when they are upset, and I WAS very, very upset, but along with being upset, I also blew things out of proportion. What is unacceptable to one person is fine with another person. I did have my breaking point and we dealt with it accordingly and have laid down some ground rules, but if I hadn't said anything about it before I get angry, he shouldn't have to read my mind. He also said he would never have her stay as long as she was staying again, but because she's so unstable there is NOTHING we can do about it.