this past weekend i had the privilege of finally meeting someone so important to me: my confidant, my therapist, my friend, Stepwitch.

this meeting was a long time coming. i was supposed to attend the first retreat but ended up having 3 conflicts that weekend that prevented me from attending. this last retreat, i was determined to go and was planning on it until the tuesday before, my FIL passed away DH told me to still go, bc he knew how much i was looking forward to going and meeting y'all, but of course i couldnt. my place that weekend was w my husband, and his family, now MY family...and did he ever need me.

Stepwitch and the Ya-Yas made sure i knew that my absence was not missed--SW sent me the gift bag she had made for everyone AND had everyone sign 2 cards for us: one w wedding congratulations, and one w sympathy and prayers. i was so overwhelmed that everyone had done that for us, and my DH was equally blown away that these women, who i had never met and who many know me solely as Bellacita, would go out of their way to let us know they were thinking of us, in both good times and bad.

so after i could not attend this retreat, Stepwitch and i had said that we absolutely would have to get together soon. she checked her work schedule and suggested the weekend of Oct 31st. i was so excited!! i felt this was the perfect time to get away before the weather turned and we were both busy w the hustle and bustle of the holidays. DH wanted me to go meet my friend, especially since id missed the chance twice before, but made sure i knew how much he would miss me this was only the second time since id moved here a year ago that we had spent a nite apart...the only other time was when he had to travel for business. so while i knew i needed the trip, in my heart i also knew how badly i would miss my other half. looking back, i had such a great time, and thought it would be nice to be in memphis enjoying it w him, but only really really missed him when i laid down at nite. during the day, i was too busy having fun!!

driving down to TN i had all the time in the world to think, but i didnt really. i spent the time chatting and texting w friends, enjoying the scenery and listening to music. i love driving, so the idea of 4 hrs in the car was not something i was dreading. i did in fact think of how much i would miss my husband but knew we would both survive!!

the only thing i really pondered was what Stepwitch would be like in person. i wondered if 2 days would prove too much too soon for someone i was just meeting. i wondered if she would like me and if our chemistry on the phone would translate in real life. i think its safe to say it did...

forming a friendship w someone u meet online is a three step process: first, u meet them here online and know them only as their screen name and by their avavtar. they are defined by their issues w their stepkids and the kids' BM, and the relationship w DH and DHs family. they become their screen name and u think of them only in StepTalk terms. once the decision is made to exchange more personal information, including emails and phone numbers, u begin to know them as their true self, their real name, the family's names, their job, etc. but ur association is still probably half online persona, half everyday life. i was so excited to get to know my friend in 100% everyday life terms.

i arrived at her house around 730 and ran out of the car to give her a bug hug. she was even more beautiful in person but her photos, if youve seen, really do paint a perfect picture. after being introduced to her furry family, which included an adorable pug and a litter of brand new just born baby shepherds!!!, we headed inside and settled into the living room to chat and watch tv. she was on call, and sure enough, after about an hour of getting to know each other, she got the call to visit a patient. i went w her, mostly because i just didnt wanna be separated from her just yet! i figured we could chat in the car and i could call DH while she was inside w the family. well, once we got there, the lady didnt feel comfortable sitting in the car bc of the neighborhood so i hastily went inside. now im glad i did. seeing what SW does and what comfort and relief she brings to these families while theyre in their final days w their loved ones was amazing. i could see it in the eyes of the daughter and granddaughter. after SW's visit, the felt much better about their own ability to care for the 99 yr old lady while she was at home. and that meant so much to them. so although i felt uncomfortable in these people's house (!) it was so cool to see SW in her true calling.

we headed back home. our coversation was easy and we laughed and joked alot. we had alot in common (except for politics...yipe yipe yipe!) and it felt to me as if we had been friends for years. i finally headed to bed around 230 as she got another call to visit another patient

saturday we woke up, had coffee and decided what to do w our day. i must admit i was a little out of my element in the country! we visited a winery and picked out a couple yummy wines and went into downtown memphis. we took pictures at the memphis pyramid, which im still not clear on why is exists...and then walked down beale street. it was so cool!! bands were playing live music on the street. we stopped in BB Kings House of Blues for lunch and some real memphis flavor bbq!! it was soooo yummy...best bbq i ever had!! it was such a beautiful day and we had so much fun just walking and enjoying the weather and the scenery, stopping in little shops and listening to the music.

back at home we just chilled for a bit w some wine and a movie, then headed back out for some beale street nitelife. we got the royal treatment bc let me tell u, SW is a beale street celeb! she says its bc of her hubby being leutenant, but i think its because of her infectious nature and bubbly sweet personality. we listened to the most amazing band cover everything from etta james to journey to prince. we drank margaritas and buttery nipples (YUM!) and somehow managed an $80 bar tab but we werent drunk enough for spending that much! we headed to another bar to see some friends who were playing, especially a sweet old man named buddy who sold SW her guitar. on the way home, our conversation turned to our lives and our skids and SW opened up to me in a way that i can only say i felt honored and privileged to be on the receiving end. we laughed, we cried, we let alot out as we opened our souls. the best part of it was that we had just met yesterday and so i found this testament to the bond we share and the friendship we had forged and the ease we had w each other...like i said, it was as if we had known each other for years and were just old friends catching up. i still cant believe she felt comfortable enough w me to open up like she did, and can only hope it wasnt just the alcohol talking!!! a few hours later as we headed to bed in the wee hours of the morning, i felt myself feeling so lucky for the friendship i was privileged enough to have w the most amazing woman ive ever met.

the next morning i woke her up so i could give her big hugs and head back home...i made the 4.5 hr trip in a little over 3.5, so i guess i was excited to get home to have driven that fast! the whole way home i smiled at my new friend, her hospitality, her graciousness, her laugh, the way she opened up her home to me, who just 36 hours ago was a stranger...she let me into her life and her family. i saw the way DH loves her, as when we headed out that saturday afternoon, he asked her if there was anything, ANYTHING he could do for her at home. i saw how much her kids love her and really enjoy her as her daughter and her friends sat in the living room and watched "In Her Shoes" w us. i even got to see how much she means to her patients that nite out on call w her...she was every bit as wonderful as i thought she would be. as soon as i got in that car and headed back to MO, i already missed that beautiful smile, that sweet face, that infectious luagh, that adorable accent, the way she sang in the car and played guitar back at home, max!, that memphis flavor, and mostly, my friend...